Jessie: The Lost Episode: Difference between revisions

Good lord. That song was fucking awful. It sounded like if Linkin Park had the vocal chords of a dying whale. After that shocking display which I refuse to call "music", the episode truly started. It showed Emma (the stereotypical dumbass blonde girl) trying to kill Zuri (the stereotypical token black girl)ith with her friends. "Aw hell naw," Zuri said while being gagged by a watermelon, "Why you keepin' me out this bitch?" "Didn't you read the sign? 'Humans only'." Really, Disney Channel? A racism joke? Never thought you'd go deeper below rock bottom. I swear, this is turning into a Family Guy episode. Emma then repeatedly whipped Zuri with a whip engulfed in blue flames. The screaming wasn't fake or mediocre. Surprisingly like many other things in this episode, it was hyper realistic. The screen went black for 0.91268154703912 seconds, like they didn't have enough time to screen wipe or fade out. It cut to Luke (the dumb one who relies on grossout humor like farts) whipping Ravi (the stereotystereotypical Indian kid) like a slave. Then Luke screamed as his eyes became bloodshot, and his freckles grew black tentacles overcoming his body. Pretty soon he became nothing but a black humanoid figure, and struggled into the kitchen to get some pizza rolls. Suddenly, Leonardo diCaprio appeared and shot the monster. "Andrew Jackson was a cannibal! Beware the sheep!" the monster shrieked before falling to the floor dead. The screen once again cut to black for 6.308251 seconds, cutting to Emma and her friends watching Disney sitcoms. "Those are way better than those shitty cartoons", Emma said.