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Jimmy Neutron Lost Episode (view source)

Revision as of 07:53, 30 August 2023

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I didn't want to watch this. What was this, some weird, horror propaganda? A snuff film? I mean I heard what sounded like a woman screaming, a goat yelling and someone being murdered with a power drill. This had nothing to do with Jimmy Neutron my favorite show.
 
I looked outside, at the string. "Give it back…back..." a voice whispered.
 
I was getting the creeps. It was midnight and I was completely naked. "Give it back…back..." two voices whispered in unison.
 
What I saw next horrified me beyond comprehension and caused a small amount of vomit to trickle up from my stomach.
Line 83:
A potato-shaped man was approaching me. He was moving very slowly, and he had a jimmy neutron Halloween mask on (these are real, google) It didn't fit, because he was a grown potato man. His disgusting, highly rendered flesh was pulsing starch blood as he clutched his electric potato heart. He could barely walk, his potato innards falling out due to the baking/surgery. I shuddered. He was holding the battery in with his left hand, but with his right hand he reached out to murder/ strangle me. Well, I was several feet away from the window, so he couldn't reach, since he only had one free hand.
 
He opened up a bag of tater tots that I guess were poisoned or something, and he threw them at me. "Try the tots" his horrific voice whispered. I…I... wasn't gonna eat them. I don't take food from strangers and besides, he was clearly trying to murder me. Anyway eventually he reached his hand in and I closed the window on it, so he was trapped. He just sort of sat there for a while, kept threatening to murder me, insisted he was Jimmy Neutron, but I didn't believe him. "I'm potato neutron." He smiled. "My spud kind came from science fair in the year 2986 the scientific effects of a tachyonic antitelephone were muffled by the otherkin from the endless 100 year spud wars…wars..." He sort of trailed off and I stopped listening.
 
I called the police, but they wouldn't come out. "Potato man!?" The dispatcher laughed. "Better bring the ketchup!" He snickered, and hung up on me. Asshole.
 
He's…s... he's still out there. I can't sleep too close to the window, one night I woke up and he was really close, but he can't quite reach. I don't know the atomic strength of starch I'm just certain that this potato man is probably gonna kill me. He keeps insisting that he's jimmy neutron and he loves me and he always has, but I know better. He has other tapes, of my favorite shows, but I won't watch them. He keeps offering me tapes, I don't know where he gets them from.
 
I told my parents, but since I'm 45 they think I'm lying. I'm not lying though. Nobody believes me but every night the potato man tries to murder me. The neighbors saw, but they didn't do anything. State farm lied. Worst part is, I really could use the food. I might wait until he dies and eat him. I know that's morbid, but tubers are among my favorite foods. He keeps saying he's dying anyway.
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"I love you daddy." He squealed, his mouth burning away as the bubble heat turned us to smoky exhaust that slowly immolated our home. "I love you too, son." I said, I tried to cry but the heat had melted my tear ducts closed. "Let's watchin Jammy nutrin-" He started to cough and smoke poured out of our lungs that were now glued together.
 
I reached for the VHS tape player but the heat had fused me into the floor. "I love you baked pothatohof…pothatohof....th" The potato man had started to laugh as we both began to melt into the floor. Maybe he had tricked me, but it didn't matter anymore. Wiring electricity is a difficult job, and if your potato doesn't live,you must take responsibility. Even if your son is evil and he tries to murder you, you must continue to love him. That is why it's called unconditional love. It means that there's nothing you can do that will ever stop them from loving you. Maybe we all want that.
 
Some blood squirted out of my eye because the floaty CG characters were in there. I saw Jimmy Neutron from the corner of my melting eye and he winked, the plastic CG surgery.
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