John Oliver Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
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{{JOKE}}
{{NSFW}}
I was given the pink slip by my boss at HBO, the channel that plays movies and their shows. I don’t even know what I did wrong, I certainly wasn’t caught spitting in John Oliver’s coffee or ejaculating into it even. Even on the days that I ejaculated into it, John complimented me and my coffee-making skills, calling it the best cup of coffee he’s ever had.▼
"Gerald, you're fired."
▲I was given the pink slip by my boss at HBO, the channel that plays movies and their shows. I
Anyways, I packed my stuff, went home, and started life anew living off of government unemployment. After about six months of sitting at home, watching comedy shows, eating chips, and farting vigorously into my Couch, I decided to check up on my old boss, Mr. John Oliver. I looked on the TV guide, seeing he had just aired a new episode. I immediately press select and began viewing the latest installation of his right-wing program.
John showed up, smiling big and wide, those glistening teeth and shiny, hair on top of his head is enough to put warmth into any
He spat all over his microphone, pop filter, and framed picture of George W Bush. He got out a napkin and dabbed his already sweaty head.
Oliver pulled his trousers down and took a large shit on the pictures and lit them on fire, throwing pictures of Dwight D. Eisenhower and a rebel flag into the pile. He sat back down in his chair and continued the show while his desk caught fire.
The camera zooms deep into
John rubs his profusely sweaty head, tired from all of the chaos
John smiles and greets Eric, stating that
Eric continues,
Eric starts looking a bit distracted. It was the moment Oliver said
John turns to tend to his severed hand as the camera zooms into it, still spraying blood every which way. All of a sudden, and to this day, I cannot explain this phenomenon, but slowly, but surely, a hand began to materialize underneath the stump. It grew back into place where his previous hand was. The camera pans up to
They rolled a commercial for Pepsi shockingly (keep in mind HBO is a commercial free channel). However, it
Last Week Tonight returns with John sitting at a new desk in place of the old one he destroyed in a firey, Liberal hate-driven rage. He has his glistening smile back and continues on with the show.
He looks inquisitively at the camera, before pointing at it and saying,
Sure enough, a car pulled up in my driveway soon after. It was at that moment when I realized this was a live feed. He unbuckled, got out, and walked up to my front door, knocking politely at first, then ringing the doorbell really fast and aggressively. Since
His bullet went through my brain, but I survived.
[[Category:Deletion Log Refugees]]
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
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