Lost Episode of Wacky Races: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "{{NSFW}} {{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by Schizima for laughs. Don't take it seriously.}} Did you ever get fucked on Wacky Races? I was receiving a blow job during a job fair for kamikaze drone pilots in the middle of western minesota when some fat asshole with his thumb up his ass gave me “The Lost Episode of Wacky Races.” I told that dick-sucker that if he wants a wacky race, he should try seeing if he can see his dick when he gets out of t...") |
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{{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by Schizima for laughs. Don't take it seriously.}}
Did you ever get fucked on Wacky Races? I was receiving a blow job during a job fair for kamikaze drone pilots in the middle of western minesota when some fat asshole with his thumb up his ass gave me
Thank god. I put the VHS in the player and pushed my index, middle and pinky finger into the play button. I did this because I have taken college statistics, and I know for sheer certainty that there is at least a 1/3 chance that one of those fingers will correctly hit the button.
Just as I predicted, the tape started. I made a note in my VHS notebook and started watching wacky races.
Oh man, they were racing so fast. I got out the cucumber and Vaseline. I
One of the cars crashed, and I got a raging boner.
I have sex with cars.
I put the tape back on. Their voices… were so low. They were murmuring something, it was really disturbing. No one talks this low, and I think it may have been a conspiracy. Their heads are turning and
What happened next shocked me to the very core of my being and I will never forget it. I know you
Dick dastardly smiled at the camera. Now
Speaking of a different kind of
This went on for about five minutes before I puked into a container that once held a chocolate conspiracy cake that I purchased at Ikea.
I decided I was going to go to Ikea. I was hungry, and I also wanted to update all of my furniture. I was concerned that the bubble tv, VCR and accompanying tape may have been haunted. I
I got into my car, but a cop pulled me over because I had a visible erection. After informing him that I am autophile, he wrote me a ticket inviting me to some swingers meeting outside of Pep Boys. I told him I
I decided that I
What I saw next sent my jaw straight down the floor and completely ruined not just my life but the lives of everyone else in the area by proxy.
The characters…they were eating at Ikea. They leered at me. They were leering a sinister leer,
Wait a minute… the couch from the show. The gruesome twosome were on it. Oh, it was a gruesome twosome alright…they
It was then that I saw him. In the cafeteria, mixing batter. The mustachioed dick dastardly smiled at me. He looked a little disheveled, like he had spent many painstaking hours to set up this elaborate VHS, furniture dining plot. It
I looked out, and he was smiling at me. I had time to get out of the way, I mean you
That was when the cops showed up. Dick Dastardly was arrested, but there was a hung jury trial because they
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