MichiganJFrog.exe... 2: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "{{Note|First story here}} Greetings, friends. Or shall I say: late friends? Though not former friends. For it is getting late. Very late. For both you, and for I, and for the sustained existence of all of humanity. So terribly dreadful. It’s Game Over, man. My name is Ludwig Von Koopa, and I live in a haunted tower on a haunted hill, next to some haunted woods. Sometimes, you can hear screaming at midnight. Or you might think it’s screaming. Bu...") |
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{{Note|First story [[MichiganJFrog.exe|here]]}}
Greetings, friends. Or shall I say: late friends? Though not former friends. For it is getting late. Very late. For both you, and for I, and for the sustained existence of all of humanity. So terribly dreadful.
I was sitting alone in my toilet chamber playing the organ and scratching my balls when I heard my door knocker go knock-knock-
The front gate was already ajar. And by that, I mean it was creaked open. I saw sunlight—not my favorite—coming in from the outside… and nothing else. Perhaps I had been ding dong ditched by that short Italian plumber in red again. Thinking about spaghetti and pasta sauce, I slammed the door shut and headed back to the toilet chamber. I had just begun to stroke my organ when I heard knock-knock #2. Irritated and at least mildly disheveled, I put my pants back on and noticed the door had been ajar once again. I scratched my head. My fingers have sharp spikes on the edges, so it kinda hurt and I started to bleed. I started stepping back to the toiletry when I heard… a voice.
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It was a… croaking.
Well, that did it. I was pissed off. I could feel my eyes go bloodshot, and my organ felt flaccid in my hand. I used my unoccupied fist to swing the wooden doorgate wide open, in anticipation of strangling a frog by the throat, when…
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It was a cardboard box! With holes punched in it!
A dead frog.
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Someone had mailed me a dead, fucking, frog. It must have been my father, King Dad, playing a practical joke on me. At the same time, though, dinner was served. I spat the box lid back on and returned to the toiletry, in preparation of cooking up a jolly green afternoon snack.
However, that was not meant to be. Instead, I was meant to be… horrified. Horrifibly. Cold-bloodedly.
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As I returned to smack the keys of my instrument, I… I saw it there. Not a knife, or a gun, or a violent video game maligned by Fathers Against Rude Television. No.
It was a frog, wearing a top hat, tuxedo, and monocle, waving a stage cane around and… ah… singing. And
"Hello, my baby/Hello, my honey
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Telephone/And tell me I'm your own!"
Okay, first of all,
I expected it to croak or maybe play dead again, but no. Listen, I know
Oh, fuck. I ran out of the toilet chamber and made way for the frontgate again, but it was knocked. I tried banging my wood, I mean the wooden door, but nothing but an ominous laugh from the
I… I had nowhere else to turn. Sure, I could run into the part of the tower where there was lava and spikes and walking skeleton turtles and shit, but I was never real good at jumping over stuff. More importantly, I was frozen like a hungry man frozen bachelor dinner for one. I was going to die alone. And a bachelor. And an incel.
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Frog the Killer had made his way into the main corridor. Through my funhouse mirror, he distorted into different shapes of terror. A no-faced frog monster with tentacles on its back. A garden rake. A nerdy looking amphibian with rainbow suspenders and giant red granny glasses. This was terrifying. I let out a scream.
And the door somehow opened! Oh, just my luck! But I
I thought I had him outpaced. But I could hear singing, coming from uphill. Oh shit. I was going to die. I just knew it.
Playing with yourself this hour/
If you evade me/You will get rabies
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Then you will die alone/Oh baby
Come back home/Join me in the netherwoooooooorld!!!!
… Yeah, fuck you, I heard that one before. I grabbed an apple off a bush and threw it in the direction of the frog shadow. He shrieked like a little pussy and fell off, assumedly dead. I gave myself a high five, caught my breath, and hobbled back up the path back home. I really wished I had King
When I got back home, I played with my organ until my fingers went sore and stiff. Perhaps I just needed a little more inspiration. I surfed the web for sexy pictures of Princess Toadstool in a fox outfit when I heard a knocking on the door again. Nope, fuck that, been there done that. I
I checked my e-mail using the screen on my smart rotary phone. Indeed, there was an attachment! MichiganJFrog.exe? Ahahaha, fuck no. I knew better than that. I pulled the
All of the power in the tower had gone out! At this hour? And
The lights came back on.
I turned around. I expected him. That man with the red hat and the mustache. But no. No. It
And now you have to die
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With the problems in this world/Oh baby
Now
I realized, at that moment, that I had failed. I was never supposed to open the exe. I was supposed to ruin the tower power supply, so that he could dupe me into an inescapable situation. Michigan J. Frog picked up a knife and stabbed me in the chest. The blood from my heart splurted into the toaster, and Michigan J. Frog spread it onto some Wonder Bread.
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