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levels. I remembered about my old NES, and proceeded to look for it.
I went to my old pantry, and pulled out my NES, and my stash of
games.“Here"Here, lets see, Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda,
Blaster Master, oh man which one,” I said to myself. I was going to
play some good old Action 52, my all time favorite game, but then the
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. “Um"Um I wish we could have
arranged a date to meet, but I remembered you liked NES stuff, so
here's a little gift,” He handed me a small wrapped present. “I"I'm
really sorry, I'm quite busy at the moment. I'll see you later,”
Alfred ran off. I opened up the small, gift- wrapped item, and it was
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couldn't have been made in the NES times. The title of the game was
Mike Matei. It had a picture of Mike smiling, with the Nintendo seal
of approval on the bottem with the words “only"only for NES”.
 
 
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what an entire game centered around Mike Matei would be about. I
popped it in the NES, and the title screen came up. It said in big
letters “MIKE"MIKE MATEI Press start to yank your balls” I laughed at
this title screen, since Mike Matei is famous for making sex jokes.
The strange thing is, when I pressed start, I could feel my hand
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was a large 4 armed demon. I easily defeated it after upgrading
myself using power ups to shoot green dicks. After he was going to
die, it said something: “There"There's,” And that's all it said before
it died. I was curious to know what else it was going to say. Mike
was then elevated to the sky by a mysterious red beam of light.
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odd, since it was a game about fighting demons after all. Then Mike
started to jump on the clouds like trampolines, and continued to slay
demons. Then a new character came out. It was the AVGN! “TAKE"TAKE THIS
YOU MOTHER FUCKIN' MOTHER FUCKER MIKE!” The AVGN told Mike as he
game him a power up. This time, it was armour....MADE OF DICKS! But I
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demon had a massive penis! He tried to hit Mike with it, but I was
too quick for that mother fucker! I charged up my male genital ray,
and blew his penis right off! “There"There's....no....” the demon said
similarily to the last demon boss. “There"There's no what?” I thought
to myself. I knew now that there was gonna be a message. I had to
know this message now that I'd gotten this far. Then it went to a
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well. It was a cutscene of Mike approaching a big scary looking
demon. Before he was going to obliterate it though, JAMES BUSTED OUT
OF ITS CHEST AND SLAYED IT!!! “STOP"STOP GRABBING MY BALLS!” James
said as he handed Mike a red gun. “Who"Who's the mother fucker now
mother fucker,” James said as he and Mike went down the hall to
fight more demons. I was pleasently surprised to find that red guns,
were actually from Crossfire! “YEAH"YEAH CROSSFIRE MOTHER FUCKERS!” I
yelled at the T.V.
 
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fight! This time, it was a large, dinosaur like demon. This boss was
much much MUUUUUUUUUCH more different from the last bosses though,
since this one spoke to me! “I"I'M GOING TO YANK ON YOUR BALLS NOW
MOTHERFUCKER!” It shouted at me.I was able to re gain control of my
hand, and started to kick its ass now! It sure was hard, since he was
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been penetrated! I found that the secret was to jump on his tounge
when he lunged out to french me and James, and I launched the dicks
into its mouth. “THAT"THAT'S IT! LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE DICKS IN YOUR
MOUTH!” It spoke to me!
[[File:Mike Matei NES screenshot.jpg|thumb|220x220px|A GENUINE SCREEN SHOT OF THE FINAL BATTLE!!!!!!]]
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Suddenly, my hand started
moving on its own! It went straight for my genetelia!
“AAAAAAAAARRRRRGH"AAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!” I yelped as my hand procceeded to squeeze on
my balls! “TRY"TRY AND BEAT ME NOW AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” The demon
boss mocked me. I felt my head swing down unnaturally to my crotch
area now! I had to beat him before he made me give myself auto
felatio!
 
“C"C'MON MIKE! SHOVE IT DOWN
HIS TURBO TUNNEL NOW!” James' text bubble read out. Out of nowhere,
AVGN pulled something out of his pants! I was releived that it wasn't
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After he had swallolled that
dick like the champ he was, he exploded into BLOOD AND GUTS
EVERYWHERE! “There"There's..... no.......” The demon muttered. I was
ready to find out the final part of the message! I was dissapointed
though, to find out that it was only scratches. Then the two sprites
went back up to the surface, to see that everything was back to
normal now. “CONGLATURATION"CONGLATURATION! YOU'RE WINNER!” Was the ending
screen showed up before returning to the title screen. Luckily, I was
able to break free right after my underpants were ripped off, before
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“Wow"Wow, well that was a
shitty ending,” I said to myself as I turned off my NES, and
burried the game cartridge. “Well"Well now, I need to take a shit,” I
murmured to myself. I made my way to the bathroom. I then sat down,
and took my dumps. I was then mortified, and was sweating all over
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[[File:Toiletpaperroll.jpg|thumb|220x220px|This is the destroyer of worlds right here.]]
 
“There"There's......no......toilet paper......”
 
For the sequel, click [http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Mike_Matei_NES_2?venotify=created Here]
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