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I regained consciousness:
 
"Find Levi, he’s smexay.”" I knew what my mission was. I knew
he had to be in Germany somewhere. Oh shit, I don’t speak German.
 
Line 51:
movie night in there?
 
"Oh Levi!”" I heard a teen wail out.
 
"Ich bin dein Gott, du Hure!”" I heard someone else say. Oh,
so they were performing in front of people! That made sense.
 
"Ich muss gestehen, Ich mag deine Sauberkeit!”" The teen said
again. The performance was really loud, I could hear it from below the cave. It
was going to take me ages to climb these stairs due to the fact I weigh about
Line 65:
stairs.
 
"Wer ist da?”" The older one said.
 
[[File:Me at 33.jpg|thumb|249x249px|Me at 33, Sexy as ever.]]
 
"Shrek sagte mir, Sie zu finden.”" I said. I looked inside
the cave and saw white paint was splattered all over the walls.
 
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is one. One eye on the Illuminati pyramid.
 
"Illuminati bestätigt!”" I say.
 
"Errm, haben wir auf dem falschen Fuß gekommen. Ich bin Levi,
das ist Eren. Und ich war Shitlord_VII.”" )BTW if any of these translations are inaccurate,
email me at: 666Illuminati666Confirmed666Gaben666@gmail.com(
 
"Sprechen Sie Englisch?”" I say.
 
"Yeah why didn’t you ask? It’s a good thing there was an
English dub. Though I had to have the name on my passport changed in order for
them to let me perform.”" That helped move things along.
 
"So if I am correct you are Levi and you were Shitlord_VII?”"
I ask him
 
"Yes. Eren was TwilightFan69.”" That explained the noises
from earlier! "Now, we need to come on the ROFL COPTER, we are the chosen three
who are supposed to defeat the Illuminati as commanded by thy lord Shrek.”" We
hop on the ROFL COPTER as I hobble down the steps at about half a mile an hour.
At the ripe age of 33, I’m a lot less nimble than I used to be. I’m still
Line 103:
occur…
 
"Sky, pass the fookin’ dognuts.”" Pewds said.
 
"K Pewds.”" Sky passes Dognuts covered in budder to Pewds.
Pewds takes a bite out of it.
 
"Can I have some budder covered weed Sky?”" Sky takes his
dick out and covers the spare cannabis in the back in budder.
 
"There you go Snoopz.”" Wait. Snoops was a good guy, why is
he now evilz like Microshizzle? Find out after this next fucking pointless
part.
Line 117:
Back at the ROFL COPTER…
 
"Can I ask you two something?”" I say
 
"Sure, go ahead.”" Levi says.
 
"How did you two come to the real world from the Anime
world? I can understand how Madara did because that was still inside the
cumpooter.”"
 
"Well, a portal opened up and a Skeleton popped out, and
then Anime characters popped out, and then a yellow triangle popped out and
then…"
then…”
 
"ALRIGHT EREN, WE FUCKING GET IT.”" I shout. I realise I
shouldn’t have done as the ROFL COPTER crashes into the earth. We all somehow
survive despite the fact we were about 1000 feet in the air. This must be
Shrek, thank you ShrekKami-sama!
 
"Well fucking done shitty brats, you got my hair dirty.”"
Levi said. Eren carried some hair products with him which should have exploded
upon impact with the earth, but Bill Nye is dead so science no longer matters.
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speed.
 
"DOGE!”" I shout out.
 
"No I’m actually Bill Gates reincarnated into a dog.”" HRY
SHT! THIS WAS NOT EXPECTED WHATSOEVER! WHAT A FUCKING PLAT TWISHT!
 
"KILL THE MOTHER FUCKER!”" Eren shouts before raising his
sword. I stop him. Getting hyper pixelated bluud on our outfits is not a good
idea, considering the fact that Levi would probably have another panic attack
Line 157:
All of a sudden Roy Mustang appeared and said:
 
"I LOVE DOGS!”" And started to sexually assault Bill Doge.
 
"CALM THE FOOK DOWN M9 YOU AINT JOE BLOODY HADFIELD!”" I say
before kicking Roy in the nuts.
 
"KRILL TEH MUTHAFOOKA!”" Eren once again shouts out, this
time no one objects. Roy’s head is decapitated and hyper animated blood flies
everywhere.
 
"You literally saved my ass there, thanks. Even though you’re
now fat as fuck and you killed me in my last life.”" Bill said.
 
"But it was actually Madara who…”who…"
 
"IDGAF!”"
 
"So, Billy…”Billy…" I start to say not realising the deliberate
typo I have made.
 
"THAT’S NOT MY NAME U DUM FAGIT SHITHEAD.”" He rages. How the
fuck can he even talk? He’s a fucking dog for fucks sake.
 
"Do you know any way we can get to Alaska?”" Levi asked Bill.
 
"Actually yes I do.”" He asks us to follow him, and we come
to a clearing in the woods.
 
"Stand next to me.”" We all do just that.
 
"TELEPORTATION YEAH!”" Was that from fucking Sonic CD?
Really? What if Sonic.exe was spawn? We’d all be fucked by the plushie that
would end up next to us on the bad that would look at us all with kawaii desu
eyes and say:
 
"GuRl U aLrAdY kNo I wAnNa FoOk U…”U…" Seductively in our ears
and proceed to do just that.
 
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"SKY! I looked up to you when I was younger, why did you do
this?”"
 
[[File:PewdsSkySnoopIlluminati.png|thumb|220x220px|Mutahar, Sky, Snoop, and Pewds. All endorsers of Faze and NWO.]]
Line 213:
 
"Many 9-13 year olds looked up to me. It doesn’t matter now
tho, soon Faze will have discovered the secret to immortality.”"
 
I gasp a mighty gasp.
 
"And Snoop, why did you help me fight against Bill and
Madara if you were in Illuminati?”" I ask.
 
"Because them niggas were gonna take Faze and convert every1
to Optic!”"
 
OK now it’s fucking battle time, everyone knos Optic is
Line 228:
 
"I’ll take on Sky, Levi you take Pewds, Eren take Snoop, and
Bill, take on that mother fucker Mutaswag!”"
 
"Right!”" Everyone says in unison.
 
Sky attacks me using his budder dick. Well I’m now permanently
Line 253:
I don’t know how I realise this, but I do. PLOT CONVENIENCE NO JUTSU!
 
"I SUMMON MEGA ULTRA CHICKEN!”" All of a sudden, the room
lights up as CGI lightning effects can be seen. The Winged Dragon of Ra has
spawned.
Line 275:
 
"Good job guys, now we just need someone to dispose of the
bodies.”" Just as I said that, all four of the pre-Fazeuminati members seemed to
suffer from exploding head syndrome, as all of their heads exploded in unison.
 
Line 282:
Akihiko Swaggy Usame.
 
"BUT YOU FUCKING DIED!”" I shout.
 
"So did Bill.”" He says back to me
 
"Point taken.”"
 
All of a sudden x 4 Rack city starts playing.
 
"THIS IS MY FOOKING JAM!”" Levi shouts and starts dancing.
 
"But Lance Corporal Levi…”Levi…" Eren says clearly disgruntled.
 
"Fuck off shitty brat.”"
 
"K…”K…" Eren says crying while exiting the building. Great,
only two left to fight the fucking final effing boss of the fookin’ Loominaty.
We’re fucked.
 
"IT WAS YOU WHO KILLED MY BAE!”" Akihiko shouts.
 
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT IT WASN’T ME, IT
SNOOP! GOD!”"
 
Then Shrek, Steve and Herobrine popped out.
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getting the anime characters back to their specific worlds, after that we can
reset time and make you thirteen again. None of the events leading up to this
will happen.”" Herobrine says, spawning 666 golden apples.
 
"Got it.”" I say running over to Levi and turning off the
music. Bill goes to get Eren.
 
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everything stops. I feel a portal open in front of me.
 
"Go into the portal, none of this will have ever happened.”"
Herobrine says.
 
"Alright guys, I just want to say it’s been nice knowing you
all, and I hope I see you all again one day. No homo K?”"
 
"No Homo”Homo" Bill says.
 
"No Homo”Homo" Levi says.
 
"ALL OF THE HOMO!”" Eren says, before we all jump in, and all
of our experiences of the past twenty years disappear.
 
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