My Little Trollpasta: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
[Disclaimer: Contrary to the title, this trollpasta does not contain any references to My Little Pony...at all. What this trollpasta does contain is graphic sexual content, hyper-realistic blood, vomit, and fart clouds, ALL-CAPS
P.S. - If by some astronomical chance that Mutahar, Markiplier, Brutal Moose, AVGN, or Angry Joe are reading this,
(Apologies to all the people I stole jokes from and re-hashed them to make them worse.)
== Part 1 ==
It all began when I was at home one day. I was in my bedroom masturbating to the erotic fan fiction I wrote featuring Mr. Clean, Mutahar, Brutal Moose, Markiplier, the Angry Video Game Nerd, Angry Joe, and several creepypasta characters like Sonic.EXE, Ao Oni, Slenderman, and Nicolas Cage.
Sonic.EXE shielded his eyes with his hands.
He pointed his finger at me, giving me the same demented look from before.
Before he could finish, part of the roof collapsed, sending debris and dust in the air.
Sonic.
Sonic.EXE took the the air, floating through the gaping hole that was once my fucking roof.
With a deep frown, his mouth opened to reveal a completely black, hyper-realistic void (how something can be hyper-realistic if
Mutahar steeled himself.
[[File:MMPW.jpg|220px|thumb|right|Copyright 6969 N00b-ten-dough. Glory to MS Paint! (AVGN just shat himself LAWL.)]]
When the Super-Ultra-Mega-Mega-Megazord was finished transforming, it was the in the shape of the most generic-looking giant robot you could ever see. Mutahar was in control of the head, AVGN in the right arm, Markiplier in the left arm (my fapping arm, incidentally), Brutal Moose in the right leg, Angry Joe in the left leg, and Scott the Giant Dick in the giant dick between the legs.
The giant robot moved his hand down to the gigantic robotic dick.
The Megazord regained its footing.
Realizing their unfortunate situation, Red retaliated. He rammed into the Megazord, sending it falling to the ground. Poised over it, he was ready to make a killing blow (a lot of guys say
I glanced behind me, realizing I has released a noxious hyper-realistic brown cloud from my asshole.
Red cringed in horror.
The Megazord got back to its feet. Markiplier quickly scooped me up and dropped me into an open hatch in the robot, where I was strapped to a table with a tube wrapped around my ass.
The Megazord pumped its dick one last time before firing a haze of shit-brown upon Red. He screeched in agony as the fart burned away his flesh and bone. Soon he was nothing but a heap of smelly remains in my front yard.
Sonic.EXE had a look of agitation on him.
We exited the Megazord, grateful it was over for now. I stood before them (still naked by the way) with a big grin on my stoopid face.
All of them got excited after mentioning it.
== Part 2 ==
All the guys huddled in front of the TV as Nicolas
Nicolas Cage turned to face the camera, striking a Ginyu Force Pose as the words
I proceeded into the room, dressed in a skimpy
Without looking away from the TV, he replied
Again, without looking away, he also replied
Feeling depressed, I tried once more.
I looked across the room to find the Ao Oni standing there. Slenderman stopped spanking me and glanced over, locking his non-existant eyes with the blue
I sat down on the floor as Markiplier ran into the room.
I looked up at him with a giant frown.
Markiplier knelt down beside me.
Brutal Moose suddenly appeared in the room.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. I ran to the door to see who it was. Outside was the FedEx truck with the driver standing in front of it with a rock. He gave it an overhand toss through my window.
I grabbed the rock and, upon closer inspection, it had a letter attached to it with what appeared to be
I challenge you to come and try to defeat me! (Insert Kefka laugh here.) I know you are too frail to defeat me! (Insert Kefka laugh here.) Soon I will kill you all and torture your souls for all eternity! (Insert Kefka laugh here.) I will be waiting at Lake Mustakrakish in Finland! Come over if you dare! (Insert Kefka laugh here, followed by a series of coughs and wheezes.) Sorry,
Well anyways, come to Finland and stuff. We can have a tea party and play
Signed,
Line 134:
Sonic.EXE
P.S. - I wrote this in red marker,
P.P.S. - Sorry about the broken window. You know how postal people can be. Man, talk about scary shit that haunts your nightmares...WHOAAH!
At this point, Scott the Giant
I showed the letter to the others, and we all agreed we had to take Sonic.EXE head-on.
== Part 3 ==
When we arrived in Finland, we parked the UFO house on one side of Lake Mustakrakish. We exited the house and looked across the lake. Floating above the water was none other than Sonic.EXE, who had his hands inside a double-diabeetus-sized bag of Doritos.
Sonic.EXE gays-ed at us with glassed-over eyes, then waved at us.
We all looked at each other in confusion.
Sonic.EXE
Realizing he must have been high as a 737 airplane that just hit the nitro and was leaving the atmosphere and heading off to deep space, I pulled his letter out from my pocket.
Sonic.EXE finished the drink and crushed the can with his forehead like a Major League Gamer should.
Mutahar steeled himself.
Brutal Moose turned to him
Without any warning, we all broke out into a ritualistic rendition of
[[File:Big Dick Rick.jpg|220px|thumb|right|Big Dick Rick strikes his famous pose! (Had to censor it because I might traumatize someone with the picture of a crudely drawn cartoon penus.)]]
B.D.R. raised his arm in a Nazi heil position.
Sonic.EXE thrust his hands in the air.
Sonic.EXE grew furious.
B.D.R. and the P.A.N.S.Y. began fighting as other DOOM monsters teleported in around us.
But even with
At this point, Big Dick Rick had utterly demolished the P.A.N.S.Y., leaving only Sonic.EXE remaining.
I stared at his lifeless body, eyes tearing up.
Sonic.EXE reeled back in horror.
I descended back to the ground. Markiplier suddenly appeared out of nowhere, completely alive and healthy. Everyone was taken aback with shock.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant wormhole opened up and sucked us all in. The tunnel was lined with cuntless colours mish-mashing together like a lava lamp. I was immediately reminded of that time I injected heroins and cocaines straight intos my ballsack. As we traveled through, we heard Darude - Sandstorm again. It could only mean one thing: we were going to Techno Hell. (Dun-Dun-Duhhh!).
== Part 4 ==
When we arrived in Techno Hell, we were dropped into a giant room with green radioactive goo falls. I realized this looked exactly like the final boss room in DOOM II, only the goat-head-skull thing was missing. In
Scott the Giant Dick grew enraged.
Romero fired an eye-beam at
Suddenly, I had an idea. I jumped a good 20-feet into the air like Super Mario (sound effect and everything), up and over the enemies encircling us. They gave chase, all the while firing missiles, fireballs, blobs of plasma, explosive ice cream cones, hairspray cans, urinal cakes, extra-soft pillows, used condoms, you name it and they shot it at me. Just as I had anticipated, they ended up hitting each other instead, beginning the most epic and arousing monster in-fighting match
The generic techno music playing in the background stopped and was replaced with tween pop bullshit. We cringed as we all recognized the song: Justin
Anyways, we was all on the ground and
The music came to a screeching halt.
And with that, he faded out of existence.
The room was falling apart at this point. Large chunks of the ceiling came crashing down and splashed into the pool of radioactive goop.
[Did our heroes make it out alive? Will the world ever go back to normal? Will Leonardo Dicaprio ever get his ice cream he was promised? Who the Hell is responsible for writing the atrocity? All these questions and more will be answered...in the DLC pack available to download for $29.95...per
▲[Did our heroes make it out alive? Will the world ever go back to normal? Will Leonardo Dicaprio ever get his ice cream he was promised? Who the Hell is responsible for writing the atrocity? All these questions and more will be answered...in the DLC pack available to download for $29.95...per part….or $130.99 for the whole pack!]
== Part 5 DLC ==
:'''''Archiver note:''' The original page for the DLC is lost, so I had to transcribe these parts from the SomeOrdinaryGamers reading.''
We woke up in a pitch black room, pressed wall to wall with each other. Our bodies were sore and tired and we struggled to breathe in the cramped compartments.
Suddenly something broke the silence all around us, a loud
Looking up into the sky confirmed we were in some sort of forested area at night. I gays-ed from side to side, spotting what remained of what I assumed to be the room we were in.
Floating blocks of wood planks dotted the area above the crater.
So as we set off in a random direction, eventually coming up to a public park,
Two clerks and a big-headed cat looking thing waited on a woman dressed in black with long blonde hair. We lined up as the clerk spoke.
The clerks were getting visibly nervous at this point. The blonde woman suddenly bursts out
She turned to us. I knew her from somewhere, but couldn't put my finger on it.
Dicaprio got in front of the counter ready to give his order, but the clerks turned around and walked away exhausted.
Dicaprio clenched his fists as he began throwing a fit like a 2 year old. He punched and kicked the ice cream stand in a rage. Then he kicked a random propane tank sitting on the ground.
The cart exploded, sending chunks of metal and ice cream upwards. We were plastered with every kind of flavor. Rocky Road, Mintberry Crunch, Dino Crunch, Hardboard Crunch, Morning Wood, and even Michael Flatley flavor. I looked up at the sky as a large blob of white ice cream landed on my face.
[Cliffhanger ending! OMG SO EDGY!]
== Part 6 DLC ==
And then we all made out, and I got super preggers. The end.
== Part 7 DLC ==
Then 9 months later a skeleton popped out!
== Part 8 DLC ==
And then the skeleton put on a top hat and started dancing to
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