My Sweet Emperess

I love Pokemon Platinum. It’s the only Pokemon game I own at the moment and it’s fun as hell! I’ve grown quite attached to my trusty Pokemon party headed by my fully-grown, level 100 Empoleon: Empress. In my spare time, I draw a series of parody comics called “PokeMEN” about me and my Pokemon roaming idly around Sinnoh after finishing the game.

I was only 13 at the time, I was playing DS Download Play on the bus with my friends on our way back from an overnight field trip. My Pokemon Platinum card was inserted, but I was going to download play Mario Cart with my friend Alojz. The option for Mario Cart appeared in the download menu, but before I could select it I looked out the window of the coach bus and saw a hearse driving by leading a funeral precession. When I looked back to my game an option labelled “My Sweet Empress” had appeared in the roster, the description simply read: “Please forgive me.” I downloaded it out of curiosity and my DS shut off. My first reaction was one of confusion, so I turned the game back on and saw that the menu icon for Pokemon Platinum was replaced with a greyed out illustration of an Empoleon. It was wincing, as if in pain. I selected it and was met with a black screen filled with programming code and Japanese text, as well as garbled, glitchy music. I then put the game back in my bag and proceeded to explain the situation to my friends.

A few days later, I decided to investigate further. I turned on the DS and selected Pokemon Platinum, and what I saw truly surprised me! The game started up and the usual intro played, though I couldn’t skip it. During the intro, however, the boy trainer sprite was replaced with an anime version of how I draw myself in “PokeMEN”, brown cap with a pokeball symbol, light blue shirt, sandals, a crest with the word “Ed” inside a burst symbol, everything was recreated perfectly! At this point I didn’t know what to think, so I selected my save file.

When I loaded my game up I was surprised to find myself sitting in my bed at home in Twinleaf Town. My sprite was a small version of the PokeMEN sprite from earlier. I walked downstairs to find that nobody was home. Upon stepping out the door I was immediately greeted by Bill (My rival, whom I named after a friend). OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP!!!!” he yelled, “EDWARD!!! I‘ve been searching all over for you! Apparently something really bad is happening over at Rowan’s Lab! Come on!” Out of curiosity, I ran to Sandgem Town with Bill’s sprite trailing behind me. I ran from any random encounters I came across. Upon arriving in Sandgem Town we entered the lab… I really shouldn‘t have entered that lab.

An autopilot cutscene followed, Prof. Rowan was standing facing Dawn and her father, a dead Piplup lay on an operating table. Dawn shrieked: “NO! PIPLUP! How could you, Rowan?!” “I’m…so sorry, dawn!” Said the Professor “I had no idea your Piplup was so vulnerable to the tests I was running!” Dawn’s father chimed in: “Your intentions don’t matter, you have taken part in criminal misconduct, we’ll be calling the police!” “Oh no you don’t!” yelled Dawn, “WE will get the justice we deserve!” This subject matter was quite out of place considering the nature of the game, but honestly, it was one of the less weird things to have happened so far. Phil piped up: “Don’t worry Professor! We’re coming to save you!” Our two trainer sprites ran up to Rowan and a battle sequence began.