My strange story

I am a generally lazy man writing this shitty book. It is Janurary 1 1456 when I heard some strange knocking on my door. it went *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* so much fucking bangs I got annoyed. "COME IN" I yelled. All of the sudden Shrek busted through the door like the kool-aid man, OH YEAH!

After Shrek nearly broke my door I saw something else, my family was standing above me with skulls in their hyperrealistic hands. My family put the skulls together and made a Playstation 3. Controller and all. I plugged in the damn system and began playing. I was playing SPOOKY SCARY DOGE WORLD SUPER TURBO HYPERREALISTIC EDITION. I played the title screen until something happened.

I got knocked out by a flying dildo that flew out of the TV. I woke up at 6:66 PM on March 14 6969. My family is now hyperrealistic skeletons. I am somehow a damn egg with arms, legs, hands, dick, and a pedostache. SPOOKE SCARY DOGE WORLD SUPER TURBO HYPERREALISTIC EDITION is still on. I kept playing the title screen until this message popped up: "Are you ready for Freddy?" Next thing I know *insert mickey mouse voice here* FREDDY FAZBEAR JUMPED OUT OF THE TV AND STARTED T-BAGGING SHREK AN- wait what? "Hey dumbass I'm over here"! I yelled at Freddy. Freddy just stood there laughing while Shrek was raping Freddy. I rolled my eyes and screamed as the Mayflower came sashing through my house with, the kool-aid man, Fred Flintstone, Rick Astley, Goku, Silver, and Justin Beiber onboard.

As you can tell I had way too much time on my hands to write every specific detail on this specific Creepypasta parody website, on this specific page, on my specific lifestory. "DAMN THIS PAGE IS GOLDEN!" I yelled for some reason. I looked outside my window shaped like a penis, I saw that World War III occured. I shrugged it off and kept playing the doge game. Before all this shit happened I was a poor guy that had a piece of wood named Plank as a friend.

Back to present times, that penis guy in the backgound of this website came and spoke to Freddy, Shrek, Rick Astley and everyone else in the room. An ASSteroid hit the Earth after God found out the Barrack Obama is president. Inside the ASSteroid is Miley Cyrus that looks like a man combined with Nicholas Cage, Leonardo Decaprio and Bob from BOB.EXE. Bob tried to kill me with a lego pickaxe, what a fucking moron. The doge came out of the TV and pissed on me. The doge then got hyperrealistic blood all over him and went back inside the TV.