Oh the horror...

    Well, this is quite horrifying. A plague has escaped, and I have been infected. That stupid fuck Obama didn't warn me. But I must warn my father now.
     As I make my journey toward him, I think of warning other people. But I would rather tell my father first.
     Behind me, I see the beast coming. I must run! I dashed to my father's house's front door, and I swiftly open the door. Bolting through the halls, I look for my father. The beast is almost to me. I must warn him quickly! 
     As I catch the sight of my father, the beast grabs me. I force myself to yell to my father about the plague, but the beast forces me to say something else. A look of shock dawns on my fathers face as the words flutter away from my lips, and enters my father's ear. A demon won't be able to think up a worse punishment than what my father will give me now. 
     But do you want to know what I said? It was so horrifying, so unreal that you will never want to know. But I digress, you probably want to know. I said the scariest words ever. Never read these words again. 

     "I'M GAY!"