Pillsbury Doughboy Is a Killer!
Pillsbury has a secret. A dirty one. You know their mascot, Pillsbury Doughboy? Well, he is a murderer. Everyone who eats Pillsbury products gets brutally murdered by Doughboy. Once, a man bought some cresent rolls. When he ate them the next day, he was found dead. He had 25 stab wounds in his back, and he had 29 stab wounds on his chest and stomach.
There was no apparent cause of the death, except for Pillsbury Doughboy. He was then a suspect. People then didn't buy Pillsbury products for 5 months until they forgot. 27 murders were commited all in one night. The next day, even
more murders were commited. Then, the rise of the murders were dramatic. The next week, there were 197 murders commited. The cops had no idea what to do. Ever since, people who would buy Pillsbury products were killed, and no one knew how to stop it. So by saying all of this, don't buy any Pillsbury product. It's dangerous.
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Credit Goes to SnozBerry.