PokeMan: Licked Dandelion.exe: Difference between revisions
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I am a huge PokeMan fan just like everyone else (if you aren't then you must BURRRN). No, I didn't say Pokemon, I said PokeMan, the Phoenix Games version that may or may not exist. (also, I don't want Nintendo suing me). Well, anyways, I was surfing on Ebay because I was looking for a possessed game or lost episode that I could watch. I couldn't find any, which is strange, because everyone in the Deletion Log Refugees can find loads of them there. Are they lying to me?
I did, however, receive a new PokeMan game from my friend Max (lets just call him that. I'd use his REAL name, but I don't feel like it because I honestly don't give a crap). It came with a note that read this:
The disk magically turned into a game cartridge due to lazy writing. Proofreading? What's that? Uh, anyways, the design of the cartridge was somewhat unsettling. It showed the fan favorite PokeMan Peekuhchoo (everyone knows him), but it had no face. Its only feature on its faceless face was a mustache. It was also computer animated with CGI so horrendous and terrifying that I am to lazy, err, scared to describe it. Also, It had hyper-realistic Squidwards for feet and had Sonic.exe trying to give it bunny ears. But the worst part? If you gaze at the cartridge at 3:33 am, it transforms into the Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys cover art! And also, the title of the game was shown, PokeMan: Licked Dandelion.exe.
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So after I put the GameBoy cartridge into my Phillips CDI (that's how this works, right?), I went to the title screen. It was the Super Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition screen at first, but then it flashed another image for exactly 0.00000000000000000000000001 seconds. I remember EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT IT. It showed Cilan from the Unova Anime (everyone remembers him, right?), except it showed him with two black circles photo shopped in front of his eyes and holding a box of hyper-realistic Walgreen's store brand (aka Nice) macaroni and cheese (if you've ever had it before, you'd know how infernal it is). And next to him was an Unown shaped like a question mark, except it was made of frozen blood and/or ketchup. I was terrified: this is meant to be a PokeMan game, not a Pokemon game! And the music in the background for that 0.00000000000000000000000001 seconds was Photograph by Nickelback except played in reverse and translated to Georgian (ქართული)! THE HORROR! I assumed this was a glitch, because logic was slaughtered long before this story began.
So then I started playing the game. There was already a save file on it. I deleted it and started a new save file, in case that save file was haunted or something. Then some kid named Ben or something broke into my house and said
After this screen passed, my character appeared in a hallway. I tried walking backwards, but I ran into a sign that said
Ever since that day, I became much more religious. Jar Jar Binks is God, and we must do all we can to appease him. I have become a chosen slayer of Jar Jar, and now I must either get people to convert to my new religion of Jarjarism, or kill them by showing them the absolute horrors of the game known as PokeMan: Licked Dandelion.exe. ყველა სეტყვა ჯემი ჯემი, ის ღმერთია, თუ ჯემი ჯემის ტენდერის გაკეთება არ მოხდება, ჩვენ ყველგან დავასახელებთ ნიუ ჯერსში. ილუმინატი დაადასტურა!!!
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[[Category:Vidya games]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:Pokemon]]
[[Category:I CAN HAZ TRANSLATION?]]
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
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