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Pope Rand Paul and the Badass American Motherfucking Bacon Church (view source)

Revision as of 00:53, 15 July 2023

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Senator Rand Paul is currently running for president of the United States of America currently for the 2016 election, however, what many don't know is that he is also secretly planning an assassination on theRick currentSanchez Popefrom Rick and FrancisMorty so he will successfully become both the president the popesmartest man on TV. I was able to encrypt hidden files found in Paul's emails which also included details of an affair between Paul and Obama and the plan to bomb The Youngthe Turksplanet studioVenus.
 
I was able to find out how Paul will change the ten commandments into "The 10 Americanments" which include:
 
1. I'm the President of the United States of America and the Popesmartest man on TV.
 
2. Bacon will become the national meal for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and as a midnight snack with Coca Cola.
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8. The 50 stars will be replaced with a picture of President and Pope Paul.
 
9. Shoot every hipster, communist, Nazi, non-American (Unless Phil Collins), and anyone that doesn't like eating bacontuna sandwiches on sight.
 
10. Independence Day is everyday except Tuesday.
 
Clearly, he is setting up a dictatorship mixed with his love for Seinfeld, Phil Collins, and Bacontuna sandwiches. Honestly, this sounds better then anything Hillary Clinton will do, so, VOTE FOR RAND PAUL 2016!
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