Popeyes: The Lost Commercial: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
{{JOKE}}{{Note|'''WARNING''': The following story may cause you to get explosive diarrhea. Make sure to read this on the toilet so you don't shit all over your sofa.}}
You know how they have a weird way of counting Popeyes commercials? That's right, they fucking don't. But since
Back in 2020,
I was busy in my room, jacking off to hot and sexy scat porn (DONT FUCKING ASK), while the TV was on in the background. As soon as i heard the familiar jingle and saw the orange background, i averted my gaze from the two women eating each other's shit. But something was off about this particular commercial. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it seemed... lost. My mom used to tell me "Never watch ANYTHING that seems lost, or you will die and your ghost will wrote spoopy creepypastas for the rest of eternity", but since she's a stupid bitch and i never listen to her, i kept watching. The announcer said "@Samgh0sh's mind was blown by a free Popeyes Chicken Sandwich. Say what?" While said text appeared on screen. The user's icon appeared on screen... and that's what i realized what was so off about this ad. His gaze. He stared deep into my soul, and i swear i could hear it say "TURN THE TV OFF" but
It was Samgh0sh... next to..... Uzaki-chan. You remember that stupid bitch, right? The one with the big fucking tiddies? The one who dated a fucking neo-
It then cut back, showing the skyline of Los Angeles. But there was something wrong. The city was in complete ruin. Buildings were damaged, dead bodies were cut open everywhere, there was blood, cum, and shit everywhere you could imagine, and a few buildings even collapsed! The camera zoomed out to Samraat and Uzaki, completely naked, and they looked at each other before they hyper-realistically fucked. After several minutes of this, they began to hyper-realistically shit on each other and smear it all across. Then they walked up to the camera, with hyper-realistic faces, and said "GET A FREE CHICKEN SANDWICH OR YOU'RE NEXT!" Then the Popeyes logo showed up, and the familiar "Love that chicken from Popeyes!" was heard. Then it cut back to the program like nothing ever happened.
I was in tears. There was shit in my pants. Why would Popeyes make something like this?! I tried to contact Popeyes, but all i got was a simple "YOU'RE NEXT". I tried to contact Samgh0sh, but all he said was "YOU'RE NEXT". I even tried to contact the network that aired the ad, but, whaddya know, they just said "YOU'RE NEXT". I vowed to never eat at Popeyes ever again after this. But this would be the decision that costed me my life. A few days later,
And then he fucking killed me.
My skeleton is currently writing this story. I am now a slave to Samraat and Uzaki in the deepest pits of hell. Let this be known: If you see anything involving Popeyes, whether it be an ad, a location, or even their food, RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. You never know when this specific couple may shit all over you and/or kill you..... Who knows, you might just be next....
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