Reading Pleads the Fifth!: Difference between revisions

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<p class="MsoNormal">Weed will liberate me. Watch me get out of my mind, author.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Late one night I was on the computer trying to find a good and free virus scan program...i found one, it was called ''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">"</span>5* virus scan''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span> it was actually really good.'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">VERY RELIABLE</p>
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<p class="MsoNormal">Come on, author, throw me a bone. Make this at least laughable. So far it<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">’</span>s simply a snoozefest, and in consequence, this reading ends being a snoozefest too.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''I looked at my computer monitor and saw this text with a black background ''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">"</span>ERROR:55555''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span> no idea what that was'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:'SegoeUI',sans-serif;color:rgb(48,49,49);border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;background-position:initialinitial;background-repeat:initialinitial;">"Error 55555, severity 16, state 1 was raised, but no message with that error number was found in sys.messages. If error is larger than 50000, make sure the user-defined message is added using sp_addmessage."</span>''</p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:'SegoeUI',sans-serif;color:rgb(48,49,49);border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;background-position:initialinitial;background-repeat:initialinitial;">Google does wonders, man. Use it next time instead of losing your mind</span></p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:'SegoeUI',sans-serif;color:rgb(48,49,49);border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;background-position:initialinitial;background-repeat:initialinitial;">so I thought I probably downloaded some sort of virus with that “5"5* virus scan” thing so I completley removed it from my hard drive.</span>'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">"</span>The antivirus I got from the deepest bowels of the Internet gave my computer viruses! Who would have thought?<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Arimo">”</span></p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Just then I heard a car pull up at my door, I looked out the window and the number plate was 55555'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">How nice, mine reads <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Arimo">"</span>FUKNO<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span></p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''I heard heavy breathing coming up the stairs I turned around and a feeling of dread passed through me as I saw a man with a knife standing in the doorway'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">“…"…</span>I realized that Jeff the Killer was the one behind it all. <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">–“–"</span>Curse your phony antivirus, dude!<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span>- I yelled<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span>-</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''I ran as fast as I could but the man grabed me and pulled me up by the collar...he said only this ''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Arimo">"</span>The mind is coming!''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span>'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">Hopefully bringing a brain along</p>
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<p class="MsoNormal">'''Jeff: yup what is it?'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">"</span>-<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">"</span>Oh not much man. I downloaded a shady antivirus and then woke up and then I saw a number everywhere and then a man shouted at me THE MIND IS COMING. I went downstairs, and then went upstairs after doing nothing, and all this in the span of hours.
</p>
 
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<p class="MsoNormal">Also this mind is clearly diseased; I want no mind of yours</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Just then my chair spun round revealing that man I saw before. ''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">"</span>THERE IS NO ESCAPING THE MIND!!''''''<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">”</span>'''</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">You heard his breathing from under the bed and instead of getting the hell out of there you frolicked around the interwebs talking to a friend. You<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"TimesNewRoman","serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Arimo">’</span>re the only one to blame, idiot protagonist</p>