Richie "Ball-Lover" Marcus' (Late) Birthday Extravaganza: Difference between revisions
Richie "Ball-Lover" Marcus' (Late) Birthday Extravaganza (view source)
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{{note|So I was gonna finish this and submit it before my birthday, but Bethesda held a gun to my head and made me play Skyrim for 8 days straight. So fuck it, I submit it naow.}}
So anyways, I decided to organize a party with all my friends for my birthday. So I rented a spot at the local bowling alley, ordered a big-ass ice cream cake (coincidentally shaped like a giant ass), and got a dozen pizzas from Pizza Hut. Only problem is no one came. It then occurred to me that I never invited any of my friends because I
After crying my eyes out and masturbating (at the same time, of course), I then decided to go trick-or-treating for my birthday. Granted my birthday was a week before Halloween, but I
So I rummaged through my closet for my skimpy nurse outfit, only realizing after 10 minutes that it was disintegrated when Burning Torrent and I went to that Dethklok concert (thanks a lot, by the way, BT). Stumbling into the dining room table, I fell to the ground and was buried underneath all the uneaten pizza. The unusual combination of mushrooms, pepperoni, chicken, and gummi bears forced a change in my DNA cellular structure, and I was instantly transformed into Pizza Man!</span></p>
LOL not really. The scalding hot cheese burned away my flesh. After flailing around for about 3.23 minutes (my stopwatch got stolen by a junkie so he could sell it to buy drugs, okay), I ran into the bathroom to wash my face. But when I looked up into the mirror, I saw that I
So I grabbed an extra large garbage bag and ran outside to start my trick-or-treating. I started at the
Knock Knock Knock*
A middle-aged man answered the door.
So I tried the next house over. *Knock Knock Knock*
An elderly lady answered the door.
She grabbed an orange prescription bottle filled with unidentified pills and tossed them into my bag (uh-huh-huh-huh-huh,
I ran to the next house as the lady rambled on.
I knocked on the third
A middle-aged woman answered the door.
She reached into her pocket and grabbed a bottle of pepper spray and proceeded to spray me in the eyes. I fell backwards off the front steps and began flailing around on the ground. When it was all over, I lie on the ground, almost near-death. The annoying beeping sound indicated I was at 1 HP.
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A regrettable decision on my part.
It was only after the bus stopped in a dark alley that I noticed the lyrics to the music:
Get aboard the
Come on get in the
I
Get into my
Climb into the
Come on get in the
Get in the
The old man climbed into the bus and ripped his face off, revealing a demonically possessed Michael Jackson.
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Quickly, I pulled my emergency Bowie knife from my sock and threw it at him. Unfortunately, he had studied the Matrix and saw the movies over a hundred times and dodged it. The knife broke through the front window and stabbed Bad Luck Brian, who had just so happened to be walking by.
As MJ grew closer, I could only pinch myself to make sure this
Just as I was about to lose my black cherry, Doomguy came crashing through the roof of the bus.
Doomguy fired the BFG and it hit MJ and it blew him up or something. I
MJ was sent careening off into the night sky.
A demonic portal opened up in the middle of Detroit, bringing with it the Raiders of the A-pok-a-klypse. A giant TV monitor appeared in front of us. That dude from the Saw movies was on-screen.
Kitchen Gun! BANG BANG BANG!!!*
And then the portal to Hell closed and all the
Dale Gribble said,
So the five of us got back in the bus and drove to Six Flags Detroit. Only the park
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
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[[Category:Holidays]]
[[Category:Demins and Debbils]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
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