Sonic.exe, but self-aware: Difference between revisions
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I'm a big fan of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, just like most of my friends and acquaintances. And while I do get a kick out of newer games, I like the classics better, due to them being more easily accessible to me and spawning a plethora of awesome ROM hacks and fangames. Speaking of the latter...
One day, I was checking my e-mail when I got a message from my buddy Kyle with a .exe file (heh, that rhymed) attached. The message read:
''"Yo, Tom! How's it going?''<br>
''So, I found this Sonic fangame here and I think you should take a look at it. I won't tell you too much to avoid giving you any
''Sincerely, Kyle"''
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After downloading the file and booting it up, the Sonic 1 title screen showed up. At first, I felt a little gypped, but Kyle wouldn't come up with a troll '''that''' simple and inoffensive, so I decided to trust him. True enough, the second I pressed enter, the title image changed to something else before cutting to black. Since it was a split second thing, I could only gather so many details. Namely, Sonic's face: his eyes became black with red pupils (and I think they were.. bleeding, too?) and his smirk was a little wider.
After this pseudo-jumpscare, I was taken to a Sonic 3-esque save select, but the background consisted in the red clouds from Stardust Speedway's bad future, there
The screen stayed black for a little longer this time, then it showed the typical level title, except the oval circle was red as opposed to blue and the text showed only "Hill Act 1". Not "Green Hill", just "Hill". The screen faded in and the level title vanished revealing Tails in Green Hill Zone. But the music wasn't the iconic Green Hill tune, but yet a peaceful melody in reverse (still kinda catchy, nonetheless). I pressed the left
To make up for that, however, I ran into a section of the level that had the little animals lying dead on the ground bleeding. And let me tell you, they looked like they were killed rather gruesomely: the squirrels
After approximately one minute, the music stopped and Tails found Sonic on the other side of the screen with his back against the fox boy and his eyes closed. Tails looked happy to see his speedy hedgehog friend, but then he noticed that Sonic wasn't responding to him. A cutscene began, in which the fox boy walked slowly towards Sonic. As he did so, some faint static began, growing louder and louder as Tails approached Sonic. It got to a point I had to take off my headphones.
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When Tails finally reached Sonic, his eyes opened and they were black with red glowing dots, just like that title image, except it was somewhat more noticeable. The screen then turned black and the static sound was off. I even let out a sigh of relief.
It stayed black for a few hot seconds and I heard a deep, demonic voice (presumably Sonic's) saying "Hello. Do you want to play with me?", with white text on the screen. This part kind of creeped me out, but only because I
Ok, back on track: Tails looked scared in this level. He actually looked at the camera and pointed forward. I thought it was a neat little detail, as if he was so desperate to flee from this place he would even resort to fourth wall breaking. But this built-up tension went away when I noticed his top speed
Suddenly I heard the Kefka laugh again, as flashes of the black-and-red-eyed Sonic popped everywhere. The music changed to the drowning jingle as I saw Sonic behind Tails slowly gaining up on him, but with a twist: the hedgehog was flying as opposed to running, just like Metal Sonic does. Right there and then, I had a minor epiphany: A flying Sonic with black eyes and red pupils... Was that supposed to be Metal disguised as Sonic?
When the organic Metal Sonic (for the sake of simplicity,
Even though this was not canonical at all, I was actually flabbergasted by what had happened. Regardless of whether that creature WAS Metal Sonic or not, he definitely
After that admittedly brutal scene, the character select returned and the save file with Tails was different; the character was no longer in the box but in the TV screen itself, which was
The laugh came again and the screen cut to black again and stayed there for another handful of seconds. This time, the level said "
Anyway, there was another red static and I was back
Sonic was right in front of Knuckles in what appeared to be black smoke. I made
17 seconds of this back-and-forth nonsense later, give or take, another cut scene played: Sonic was on the tip of his toes with his arms crossed and Knuckles was kneeling and sobbing. Sonic said '''''
The Kefka laugh played and another text message with voice appeared: "So many souls to play with, so little time... would you agree?" Eeeehhh.. what did that even mean? Oh, yes. Demon Sonic is playing with the
I was brought back to the main menu and Knuckles was in the preview screen now. his red fur had darkened to a wine-like red, his dreadlocks were dripping with blood
One glass of water later, I selected Robotnik next. I still thought that was wacky playing as him... then again,
The level title appeared again and this time it said "...". I was in some kind of hallway, didn't really look like it was from any classic Sonic game, though it
The doctor looked a bit less nervous then Tails, but he did have a sweat drop in his forehead. When moving, he did his usual running animation (
And then I heard that Kefka laugh again. I was so
In hindsight, I should have downloaded and played this on my phone, this way I could have taken a screenshot of that picture and made it my wallpaper.
Then the screen flickered with red static again thrice, and on the 3rd time I heard Kefka laugh, except this time it sounded distorted and.. loud and causing me to remove my headphone again! Cut it out, game! You're not scaring me, you're just hurting my ears!▼
[[File:Sonic.exehyperrealistic.jpg|thumb|220px|Wouldn't it look cool, guys?]]
▲Then the screen flickered with red static again thrice, and on the 3rd time I heard Kefka
Ok, now I mean it: What on Earth could that possibly mean?? Like I get it, Tails and Knuckles are powerful and Dr. Eggman is a genius, so killing them isn't an easy feat. But, does it REALLY take "being God" to do so? Besides, God wouldn't kill anyone, so you're Satan at best. Well, anyways, more red static showed up on my screen. However, this one in particular was so loud I could hear it from my headphones, even though they weren't in my ears. What's with this game and obnoxious loudness?
Then it stopped and showed nothing but black screen. As I sat there
To finish it off, there was a black and red background with a Japanese text that read:
''"There is a way to free yourself. A spell to get our soul again.
Welp, that was Sonic.exe. Kyle, if you're reading this, here's my verdict:
(In the comments, let me know how many times I used the words "Sonic", "after", "and then", "laugh", "screen" and "demon")
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Satire]]▼
[[Category:Blatant Ripoffs]]
[[Category:Vidya games]]
▲[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ]]
[[Category:File Extensions]]
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[[Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:Sonic]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
[[Category:Hyper-realistic]]
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