Squidward Grew Lungs: Difference between revisions
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It all started in 2008, I was a really young boy at the time. One of my neighbors was having a yard sale, and I was rummaging around it trying to find anything I could buy with the 10 dollars my mother had given me. I eventually came across some old DVDs, all of them marked with names of cartoons. Amongst the many DVDs, there was one VHS that had the title "Squidward Grew Lungs" on it. I presented it to my neighbor and asked what it was. He chuckled a little bit and said that a kid like me wouldn't want to watch something like that. I was always nervous around him, but I really enjoyed going to his yard sales as he always had good stuff, so I insisted. He laughed, and explained it was a very special episode of Spongebob, and said I could have it for free, but told me I could only watch it by myself. I was confused by this, but I thought nothing of it, I was just happy to have a new episode of my favorite show.
I went into my room, turned on my small box TV and put the VHS in the player. The episode started pretty normally, though there were a few audio glitches and cuts during the intro, but I assumed it was just because it was an old VHS. The title card came on, and it showed "SQUIDWARD GREW LUNGS" in big red letters with a white paper background. There was no music, and the episode started without the usual bubble transition. At this point, I thought the episode was just an unfinished draft, which piqued my interest, as even at a young age, I loved knowing the process of animation.
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The video then plays back where it left off, with Squidward's corpse just floating in the middle of a black void. Nothing is happening, just that disturbing visual of his corpse with a low and dreary droning sound playing. After waiting for a minute, I start to fast forward, my morbid curiosity taking over me. I notice Squidward's corpse isn't just a still image, it's moving slowly, subtly bobbing and down with the currents of the ocean. I turn up the speed and see that small chunks of his body are slowly disappearing. No, he was decomposing. I watched as his corpse bloated slowly, before disgustingly discharging a pitch black substance. The black substance eventually completely hid his body, leaving me in complete darkness. A sentence in red text appeared at the top of the screen that said, "NOT EVERY CREATURE CAN EVOLVE".
suddenly the video cuts, and the text "FEBRUARY 08, 2007" appears. The video cuts again, and shows very grainy footage of a white room, with a small wooden table in the middle of it. On top of the table is a plastic container filled with water, and an octopus sitting inside. Suddenly, a voice comes on, a text to speech voice, and says "EVOLVE". The video then jumps to a close up of the octopus having its legs ripped off slowly by a pair of gloved hands. I could see the octopus struggling to get away to no avail, as one by one its legs were pulled off its body. Though it couldn't scream, I could tell it was in agony. The video jumps again, this time to a close up of a wrinkled old mouth. He then starts slowly putting all of the octopus' legs in his mouth, all of them still wriggling around. He then starts chewing them, keeping his mouth open as he does so you can see every chunk be ground down to mush. I felt really nauseous watching it, but I couldn't look away. The video jumps once more, showing the octopus sitting there with no legs, as the man grabs a scalpel and then brutally stabs it in each eye, pulling each out of the sockets, and shows a close up to the camera, squishing them in his hands. He then walked back over to the octopus, which wasn't even moving anymore, and started petting its head. Then suddenly, the man began laughing and proceeded to repeatedly stab the octopus in its head, over and over and over. I eventually had to look away, I just kept hearing the sound of the knife entering its flesh. After the noise had stopped, I nervously removed my hands from my eyes, and saw the aftermath. I couldn't even recognize the mass of flesh and chunks on the table as an octopus. The man's shirt was completely covered in the viscera of the dead octopus, and, breathing heavily, he started chuckling to himself. The video jumps one last time to a close up of the octopus' remains on a plate, and the text to speech comes back, saying the words "YOU WON'T EVOLVE" on loop for nearly a full minute, before suddenly ending with a sudden and horrifying close up of Squidward's agonizing face screaming. ▼
▲the octopus having its legs ripped off slowly by a pair of gloved hands. I could see the octopus struggling to get away to no avail, as one by one its legs were pulled off its body. Though it couldn't scream, I could tell it was in agony. The video jumps again, this time to a close up of a wrinkled old mouth. He then starts slowly putting all of the octopus' legs in his mouth, all of them still wriggling around. He then starts chewing them, keeping his mouth open as he does so you can see every chunk be ground down to mush. I felt really nauseous watching it, but I couldn't look away. The video jumps once more, showing the octopus sitting there with no legs, as the man grabs a scalpel and then brutally stabs it in each eye, pulling each out of the sockets, and shows a close up to the camera, squishing them in his hands. He then walked back over to the octopus, which wasn't even moving anymore, and started petting its head. Then suddenly, the man began laughing and proceeded to repeatedly stab the octopus in its head, over and over and over. I eventually had to look away, I just kept hearing the sound of the knife entering its flesh. After the noise had stopped, I nervously removed my hands from my eyes, and saw the aftermath. I couldn't even recognize the mass of flesh and chunks on the table as an octopus. The man's shirt was completely covered in the viscera of the dead octopus, and, breathing heavily, he started chuckling to himself. The video jumps one last time to a close up of the octopus' remains on a plate, and the text to speech comes back, saying the words "YOU WON'T EVOLVE" on loop for nearly a full minute, before suddenly ending with a sudden and horrifying close up of Squidward's agonizing face screaming.
The VHS then ended, leaving me in the darkness of my room all alone. I didn't get any sleep that night, and the next day I left that VHS in the middle of the road far away from my house, hoping someone else would find it. I still wanted to know who made it, but I should've known how obvious it was in retrospect, though I was young. A few years after that incident, my neighbor was arrested and sentenced to life in prison for raping and torturing an 8 year old girl to death. He video taped every detail of himself doing the act, and accidentally showed his face near the end of it. The police raided his home and found dozens of VHS's of him committing similar depraved acts, of which I can not legally say even if I knew what was on them, as most of the videos were vaulted by the government. The video I watched was found quickly and was apparently the most recent before what he did to that girl. He killed himself in prison pretty shortly after being committed, and was buried in a hole in the middle of the desert. Years have passed since all that happened, I'm now a college graduate and have a very good life. Despite that, I can't move on from that video, the visions of it keep popping into my head, and I hope that man rots in hell for all eternity.
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:SpongeBoob]]
[[Category:Lost Episodes]]
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