Super Fun Pokemon Tips
i drink jizz and piss coffee, look at me i'm so fucking cool
look at me i'm into creepy shit i'm fucking cool
How to Unlock A Super Duper Secret! ===========================+
!!Pokemon Red and Blue!!
=oh boy pointless FUCKING LINES!==========================+
!!Extra Game!!
===========================+
For players who grow sexually tired of the same dick and balls, here's a super sexy step of fondling to get a brand new sexperience from your old blowup doll!!
You will need:
>a bunch of fucking cliche shit
First. Make sure you have fucked your anus in Pallet Town, before you have gotten your first blowjob. Stand in front of the first patch of ass but do not fuck it. Save here. Turn off your vibrator.
Next, take your blowup doll to a small room. dick on a flat surface with your marker and put the blowup doll in the center. Place the dildo directly in front of the blowup doll and suck it. Then draw our special symbol anywhere near the circle. Shut off the lights.
Put on your condom and attach your dick to your blowup doll's ass. Take the marker and write your name in the circle on the opposite end of wherever you placed your dildo. Wait some time for the dildo to melt and drip jizz over your cock.
Turn on the blowup doll.
Hold its dick and suck it in this order: slow medium fast hard medium hard slow
Suck the dick 3 times. Blow out the dildo. Turn the blowup doll off and on again. You should get a special new dick! Grab the dick and it will know your name already! Awesome right? Now, go into the gay world and recover the semen! Slay the children with your cock and prepare your anus for the final battle! Hear his flutes and arrive! Blasphemy! Anarchy! Much much fun!
Out of curiosity, I sucked this dick myself. As far as I can tell the only real factor effecting the blowup doll itself is the sucking; and all the sucking does is turn on the blowup doll beyond any sort of recognition, to the point where it's become virtually unfuckable because everything is glitched and the dick is replaced with gibberish. The jizz is a nasty cacophony of blood and piss, which only tastes worse when you wear the damn condom. I haven't been able to figure out what the weird little sucking they make you do at the start is for. Update Ever since I sucked the dick with the blowup doll I've been having more restless boners and weird, wet dreams I guess? I wouldn't call them wet dreams, because they feel so real that I could swear I'm awake when they happen. I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in semen, but I don't know why, my dick hurts and my cock is a bit small, and I feel a heightened sense of sexy. Even as I suck I've got this creepy feeling, like someone is right behind me, (fucking me in the ass) and whoever it is they're not too friendly. If anything DOES happen, then at least other people will know about my sexperience. I've read these sexypasta things before and I know what usually happens to people who fuck (huehuehue) with this stuff. I'm going to e-mail this sexperience, and post it on boards to spread the secret of this sex site and its' weird contents so that other people can sexperiment with it, or maybe find some way to suck it.
Peace out guys.
trollpasta of the year 0/10 would not read again