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My name's Jonathan. I am an avid collector of Nintendo games, be it Legend of Zelda, Earthbound, or Pokemon, but my all-time favorite games were the Super Mario games. I had every Super Mario game ranging from the original game to Mario Kart, Super Mario Galaxy, whatever, except for Super Mario 64. I had a copy, but from decades of heavy use, it was utterly decimated. I needed a new copy of Super Mario 64.
I looked out the window and saw that someone down the street was having a yard sale. My interest was peaked when I saw that there were many classic, retro video games for purchase. I decided to try my luck.
I browsed around the yard sale for a minute, taking in the sights, until I finally saw a copy of Super Mario 64. The game was in horrible condition. The label had nearly been peeled off, but I could still make out the flying Mario and the title. The title looked the same, except somebody had written over the 4 in 64 with a silver Sharpie so it said 62 instead. I opened the container. Inside was a note with very little on it. The note looked pretty old. It said, "Test version of SM64. Nearly completed. I have a few bugs too soort oot (illegible) oh no (illegible) i forgot the (very long illegible stretch) c." There were chew marks on the bottom of the page, and a little bit of dried....something. I couldn't tell. I was a little bit weirded out by this note, but then I saw the price tag. Only two cents!
I rushed to the man in charge of the yard sale. He was very old and he was leaning on a walker. I told him I'd like to purchase the Super Mario 64 game. He didn't respond, and he had a frightened look on his face. A drop of sweat My name's Jonathan. I am an avid collector of Nintendo games, be it Legend of Zelda, Earthbound, or Pokemon, but my all-time favorite games were the Super Mario games. I had every Super Mario game ranging from the original game to Mario Kart, Super Mario Galaxy, whatever, except for Super Mario 64. I had a copy, but from decades of heavy use, it was utterly decimated. I needed a new copy of Super Mario 64.
I looked out the window and saw that someone down the street was having a yard sale. My interest was peaked when I saw that there were many classic, retro video games for purchase. I decided to try my luck.
I made Mario turn to look at the camera.
[[File:Super-mario-64-star-locations-guide-walkthrough-screenshot.jpg|thumb|The horrifying Mario screenshot.]]
Suddenly, everything on the screen turned to a shade of ruby red. The static was horrible, and the image was glitchy. More horrifying, however, was Mario. He had glowing orbs for eyes that had blood pouring out of them, and the star above his head had the same eyes as Mario did. Mario was making the peace sign to the camera. Above him, the lives meter had been replaced with a skull, times an illegible number.
Oh, no, I was not afraid. These people were my friends, my (illegible) here to stay for (illegible) madness and share together (illegible) Mario (illegible)
{{hrb}}
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{{Quote|These were words found in the notebook of Jonathan Warner , along with the picture found on his computer. Jonathan went missing approximately 12 years ago, leaving thesethis as the only cluesclue to his dissapearance. After a house search, a Nintendo 64 with chew marks and dried blood on it were found. Jonothan is one of 11 other people that have vanished, leaving similar clues.|Sylvia Lancaster, 2014 news reporter}}▼
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
▲These were words found in the notebook of Jonathan Warner, along with the picture found on his computer. Jonathan went missing approximately 12 years ago, leaving these as the only clues to his dissapearance. After a house search, a Nintendo 64 with chew marks and dried blood on it were found.
[[Category:Satire]]
-Sylvia Lancaster, 2014 news reporter
[[Category:Mario]]
[[Category:PagesNINTENDO with grammar that doesn't suckSIXTY-FOOOUR]]
[[Category:PastaLook Tryingat Tome! BeI'm GoodSO When It Sucks Enough To Be A TrollEDGY!]]
[[Category:Im died]]
[[Category:English Class Failure]]
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