Super Mario Bros. 3: Damned Edition: Difference between revisions
Super Mario Bros. 3: Damned Edition (view source)
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The NES had many great games back in the
Sadly, some years ago, my NES and my games were lost after moving. I did get an FC Twin (an NES and SNES in one) to replace it. The one and only game I wanted was Super Mario Bros. 3. I had no money to buy a copy, so I was stuck without one.
One year had passed. One year without Super Mario Bros. 3. I went to go check the mail since I
I brought it inside and opened it with my box cutter. Inside was a copy of Super Mario Bros. 3. With joy, I slapped the cartridge into the FC Twin and turned it on to the 8-bit option. What followed was the weirdest and creepiest display of any video game
Instead of the pleasant, quirky opening cut scene, an image faded in that said Super Mario Bros. 3 in front of a black image with
After slaughtering a whole Toad army, he barged into the
I entered the first level. Mario had already collected a mushroom apparently, as his sprite was larger. I ran to a question box and hit it. Expecting a fire flower, instead I got a pistol. I was stunned.
Not minding the oddness of the newly added weapon, I ventured forward, hoping something normal would happen. I had no such luck. Approaching a piranha plant, Mario stopped dead in his tracks, jumped onto the piranha plant, and snapped it in half. Green liquid (which I assumed was blood) started squirting out of the plants stem.
Moving on, I approached the first goomba in the game. As I walked towards the goomba, Mario looked at it with this angry look. He looked pissed off. The goomba finally touched Mario, which triggered a cut scene. Mario picked up the goomba as a textbox appeared.
Please just leave me alone. Mario:
I went to the next item block. A knife popped out from the yellow block. Mario grabbed it on his own, without me pressing any buttons. After he collected it, a group of goombas and para-goombas just happily strolled to the left. As soon as they saw Mario, however, they turned and ran. Mario (being the relentless mother fucker he is in this game) chased them and stabbed them all with his newly acquired knife. After killing them, I could finally control Mario again.
I tried not to come into come into contact with any enemies at all. Finally, after a long, creepy trip, I reached the end of the level. Bowser was there waiting for me. He came closer to Mario. Mario then lunged at Bowser, but he was just smacked to the ground by
The final amount of text appeared. It scrolled up the screen like the end credits. It read,
I ripped the game out of the console looked at it for a few seconds. I taped the game to a plank of wood, brought it outside, took a stick of dynamite, lit it, and blew up the cartridge.
I was in a state of depression for a few weeks. I went to see a therapist. I
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[[Category:TRUE STORY]]
[[Category:Stuff Blowing Up]]
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