Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lost episode: Difference between revisions

Well, I had found the dusty VHS in a bin in the garage. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, my favorite. I opened up the sleeve to the VHS to find a picture of a turtle smiling with its mouth open, no teeth but gums visible. Do turtles even have gums? This turtle had gums, I'll tell you that. And not the kind you chew. Not the kind you chew at all. I could really go for some pizza.

 

 

 

The turtles were in the sewer and I remembered them all clearly, Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo, Rafael. Maybe you never noticed, but they're all the same animation with different colored bandanas in MS Paint. And all the anchovies on the pizza are actually easter eggs of the artists' heads drawn in.

 

 

"There's something totally rad about this pizza!" One of the turtles said. It was covered in pubic hair and lemons. A shot of Mr. Clean was in the background. Then he immediately said "I don't feel so well, and fell over sick". There was just a shot of foot soldiers carrying the turtle away with cartoon "X's" in his eyes. " You killed  him!" They yelled. The camera froze suddenly and there was a highly stylized shot of three turtles standing at a grave. A strange eulogy began. One of the turtles was at the podium, delivering a sermon to a crowd. "He wasn't human, he was but a turtle, but we saw him as human. He was representative of a person. And though he's gone, his legacy lives on." I was really confused, I mean, I thought this was a kids' tv show. I never saw an episode where one of the teenage mutant turtles died. 

Splinter the rat immediately entered. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY TURTLES!" he yelled, and his whiskers furrowed. He ran across the room with tears streaming down his face before he stopped. Shredder had placed a massive sticky trap on the floor of the hideout. The more he struggled, the more he became stuck in the glue trap, violently pinned to it until his muscles gave out and he lay there. Another massive sticky trap came down from the roof, sandwiching him.

 

 

The fourth and final turtle was shown being burned to death in the hideout as he screamed and melted into googly eyed ice cream. Baxter Stockman had the remains cremated. There was nothing now, no music, no laughter, no return of the turtles. That was it. A shot of the technodrome, the massive spherical building crossing a desolate plain was shown. Inside, Hitler, Stalin, Kim Jong Il, Mussolini and Shredder all plotted to take over the world. Shredder appeared quite happy. "Now that the turtles are dead, there is NOTHING to stop me from enjoying this delicious pizza". He ate the pizza hungrily, removing his mask off screen. A huge, bloody eye loomed across the massive landscape, empty, cold, dead.

Shredder unflinchingly cleaned the floor. He was dressed as a cleaning lady now, though he still had the samurai mask on. He was trying to clean blood out of tiles as the interior of the technodrome looked like  a massive bathroom. "I know you have humanity." Splinter said, choking. "Please." He said. "Let me live." The glue trap fell down instantly as the rat struggled in the trap, attempting to gasp for air. The water bubbled and bubbled as the massive container of water appeared to be a bucket. 

 

 

I was having more problems as I had become completely numb from the waist down. My nose fell off like Michael Jackson as I stumbled into the bathroom, vomiting up blood and some of my internal organs.  I stumbled into the kitchen, realizing that sandwich I'd eaten earlier had been contaminated. I could've called 9-1-1, but instead I stumbled into the kitchen, fumbling through the cupboards and pulling out a can of clam chowder covered in hair. I peeled it open, poured the bowl, hit 69 on the microwave and fell backwards, as my intestines seemed to be bunching up and falling out. I hesitantly pulled them back in and clenched to keep them in place, then I tripped as my eye fell out and was dangling out of its socket. I tried to dice some scallions to put on the chowder but my finger slipped and I chopped off three of the five upper 1/3rd's of my index finger on the right hand. I sneezed, and lacking a nose, my jaw flew off and landed in the sink. My tongue dangled down covered in blood as I tried to put the VHS slipcase back into the player. Something with a massive jaw was crawling toward me, but it was in my blind spot. I heard the wind rustle outside. That better be my fucking pizza.