The 4th of July Killer: Difference between revisions
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Like all good stories, we need to start at the beggining. It was around summer. While most young adults my age were hanging out with friends I was sitting in my room, browsing the primitive interwebs because I had no friends because I was being such a pretentious cunt. After finding a shitload of porn that probably got me on some sort of FBI list I came across this internet fenomenon. The scary campfire stories. What a spook I had. No I mean seriously, they scared me so much I asked my parents if I could sleep with them and my dad told me to fuck off. What a fucking cunt, anyway, the stories that I was a fan of were these "the killer stories" which took no talent yet got so popular. You didnt even have to try, you just put your self insert into a scenario and by the end he goes insane and murders people.
Me being a fucking
So I needed to dress as the iconic american president George Bush.My weapon of choice? Fire crackers. How fitting since George Bush is known for blowing buildings up. So I went to the fucking store and what do you fucking know, they didnt sell the powerful shit that could kill someone to kids.Fucking American laws, now I was fucking determined to tarnish the day this piece of shit fucking country was founded.So I went to my cousin that lived in a trailer park to see if he had something to sell. That fucking asshole was expecting me to pay him actual money to buy the firecrackers. What the fuck, why would he do that to his own fucking relative. This capitalistic system had to go down.
So after asking my dad for money and him telling me to get a fucking job I bought the firecrackers.He told me "be careful not to blow your fingers off you fucking
That party was one of the most annoying experiences of my fucking life. Annoying fucking kids screaming and shit music was playing. It was about 3AM that my bitching got my family to drive back home. They asked us to sleep the night there and go in the morning but my dad said that he had enough of me crying.So we got home at about 5AM. My parents went to sleep. It was go time now.
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To this day my dad brings that up everytime around the 4th of July, and everytime I try to pick something up with my right hand I drop it.
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Holidays]]
[[Category:Excessive Profanity]]
[[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]
[[Category:English Class Failure]]
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