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''Jerry is doing his standup routine in front of a crowd''
Jerry: “So"So what’swhat's the deal with garden gnomes? They kind of just sit out there in the yard and do nothing. They are a little creepy honestly. Having a little guy standing out in the yard. Why did this even become a thing? Who’sWho's idea was it to put this little elf looking guy in the yard and why did it even catch on?
{{*}}''Bassline''*
''George comes into Jerry’sJerry's Apartment''
George: “I"I can’tcan't stand it with these gnomes!”"
Jerry: “What"What do you mean?”"
George: “In"In the mail I got a bunch of skeleton gnomes! Bone Gnomes I tell you. Bone Gnomes! They’reThey're freaking me out."
Jerry: “Well"Well can’tcan't you just send them back?”"
George: “I"I can’t…can't… there is no return address on these.”"
''Kramer barges through the door and starts eating cereal out of a box with his hand''
Jerry: “Well"Well then just throw them away.”"
George: “I’d"I'd need 100 trash cans to get rid of these things. I have hundreds! Hundreds of Bone Gnomes!"
Kramer: “Well"Well then just drive them to the dumpster yourself.”"
George: “You’re"You're onto something Kramer.”"
{{*}}''Bassline''*
''George is at the dumpster emptying the Bone Gnomes into the dumpster and a policeman stops him.''
Policeman: “Excuse"Excuse me?”"
George: “Yes"Yes? May I help you?”"
Policeman: “You"You can’tcan't dump those here.”"
George: “Well"Well why not?”"
Policeman: “The"The mayor passed a new law. These gnomes are toxic to raccoons and they can get sick if they eat them.”"
George: “Do"Do you think I care what a raccoon eats. They shouldn’tshouldn't be eating trash anyway.”"
Policeman: “The"The law does care. Each gnome you throw away is a $300 fine. So you better take what you threw away out now.”"
{{*}}''Bassline''*
''George is walking by Mr. Steinbrenner’sSteinbrenner's office at Yankee Stadium and overhears him on the phone''
Mr. Steinbrenner: “What"What do you mean there is a mixup with the bobbleheads! Keith Hernandez hasn’thasn't been in the league for years and never put on a Yankee uniform… Well then what do you want me to do about next week’sweek's big giveaway… You're Fired.
George: “Um…"Um… Mr. Steinbrenner.”"
Mr. Steinbrenner: “George"George! Come in come in! Take a seat, take a seat. You smell like you’veyou've been swimming in a dumpster. Now have you heard about this new thing called Karaoke. These people go up on stage and sing songs without any instruments…”instruments…"
George: “Alright…"Alright… alright. I heard there was mix-up with the bobblehead giveaway. And well, I’mI'm looking to get rid of these little gnomes. I have about 500 of them.”"
''George pulls a Bone Gnome out of his pocket''
Mr. Steinbrenner: “George"George! George! I love it! You are a genius! We’llWe'll start producing these things right away!”"
George!: “No"No-no… we don’tdon't need to make anymore. I’veI've got plenty.”"
Mr. Steinbrenner: “Everyone’s"Everyone's gonna want one of these. 500? You think only one section will enjoy these. How about this first 25,000 fans at next Wednesday’sWednesday's game get a free Bone Gnome!”"
George: “Great…"Great… just get these things off my hands.”"
{{*}}''Bassline''*
''Elaine has been called to J. Peterman’sPeterman's office''
Elaine: “Mr"Mr Peterman?”"
J. Peterman: “Oh"Oh Elaine! It is so good to see you.”"
Elaine: “What"What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”"
J. Peterman: “Last"Last Spring I took a holiday in the Swiss Alps and I found the most priceless skeleton gnome. Only 500 left in the world. Well I just bought the entire collection for $850,000 from an anonymous seller out of Tuscany. I could sell them for a lot more if I were to find the right buyer.”"
Elaine: “Uh"Uh huh…”huh…"
J. Peterman: “Well"Well the shipment was supposed to arrive last week and I feel I’veI've been swindled. I want you to go to the post office and figure out where these bone gnomes could have gone.”"
{{*}}''Bassline''*
''George meets Elaine and Jerry at the Coffee Shop''
Elaine: “Why"Why the long face?”"
George: “I"I don’tdon't wanna talk about it”it"
Jerry: “Did"Did you get your gnome problem figured out?”"
''George starts to cry''
George: “The"The game was rained out! Cancelled! I tried to give these bone gnomes away at the game, but now I can’tcan't because the rest of the season is booked with give-aways!”"
Jerry: “Well"Well looks like you’reyou're just back where you started.”"
George: “Worse…"Worse… Worse! I now have 25,000 gnomes because Mr. Steinbrenner made more of them. There was no place to store them in the stadium, so he had a truck drop them off at my apartment building! Every surface of my home is filled with these bone gnomes!”"
''George picks up a bone gnome and squeezes it''
Elaine: “Hey"Hey! I can solve your problem.”"
George: “Really"Really? And how is that.”"
Elaine: “My"My boss has been looking for those gnomes all week. He ordered a ton of them, and it looks like they were sent to you by mistake. I was just on my way to the post office to figure things out.”"
Jerry: Well looks like your problem is solved.
{{*}}''Bassline''*
''Elaine is delivering boxes of Bone Gnomes to J. Peterman’sPeterman's office''
Elaine: Phew… I think that’sthat's the last box…
J. Peterman: Thank you Elaine… I couldn’tcouldn't have done it without you. Where did you find these?
Elaine: My friend George had thousands of these from the cancelled Yankee game.
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