The Bread Theory: Difference between revisions

I, the nice and enthusiastic guy walked into the bread factory, leading a group for a tour, and then the door to the factory shut and locked. "What’s going on?”" an old hag asked from the back. I was drastically sweating, if that makes any sense at all. "I’m sure it was just the wind,”" but it wasn’t. Oh how little we did know what was coming…

I lead the group through the machines, which did nothing, just mold and bend air, and the wind brushed up against my back. A single lightbulb flickering from the ceiling went out, and the panic mode switch was flicked on. "Do not worry, my fellow bread eaters,”" I declared. "We shall get through this together.”"

"It’s locked!”" a giant man with aproxamently one thousand chins declared. "Yeah, well duh, we got locked in here from the outside!”" I yelled at the stooge. "Let’s find a different way out, and then this will be the best tour ever!!!”" I said. That didn’t raise the bread spirit though.

"C’mon, guys, be sports.”" and we went the other way. I found a air duct and broke it with my bloody shattered apendage which hurt like crazy, but I dealed with the pain.

"Which way,”" the stooge said. "You, old lady, lead the group over there, and I’ll lead myself over here,”" and we parted with one another.

Suddenly, there was a loud thud and a bang. "You alright over there?”" I asked the old lady. "Fine sonny, but cany you help me-”" "WE’RE STUCK IN A AIR VENT! NOT A STREET!”"

"Okay then.”"

I continued leading myself, and then there was a dead end. I declared very gravely, "Crap”Crap" and then discovered myself falling an imposible height that would kill someone in their own landing border. Then, another thud made me yell out a curse word and turn around.

"I WANT BREEEEEEEEAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD!!!”" the monster demanded of me. "Listen, idiot, you’re made OUT OF BREAD!”" "oh ya i forgot thanks dude by”by"

I kept walking and then found Dobby, a house elve singing some song. "Dobby, let’s get the heck out of here before someone gets hurt!”" "ahh, the famous Johnny Bread, how do they make that stuff again? My clumsy brain forgot!”" I farted.

"Listen, Dobby, we need to get out oh he-”" "DOBBY WANTS BREAD.”"

[[File:Weird.jpg|thumb|left]]"Okay… then… if it’s bread you want, then it’s BREAD YOU’LL GET!”"

I pulled a knife on dobby and skinned him right there. The blood going everywhere satisfyed me. I loved the sound of crushing bone and marrow globbing onto the floor dobby. "Dobby, full yet?”" I asked as I raised his dead mutilated corpse to my ear. "Huh, Dobby? Are you happy now?”"

"WELL JACK YOU! I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE SO I DON’T CRUMBLE INTO A BUNCH OF SMASHED PIECES OF DEAD BLOOD!”"

So I took it out with my blooody mutilated hands and grasped it. "Why am I not dy-”"