The Critic Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "{{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by Schizima. Don't take it seriously.}} The Critic was a show that aired on ABC in 1994. Many people today are not familiar with it because it has been buried by the sands of financial time, as the show was a commercial failure, but it actually had a huge amount in common with the longest running show of all time, The Simpsons. The show was created by Al Jean and Mike Reiss, who both worked on The Simpsons. Even the s...") |
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The Critic was a show that aired on ABC in 1994. Many people today are not familiar with it because it has been buried by the sands of financial time, as the show was a commercial failure, but it actually had a huge amount in common with the longest running show of all time, The Simpsons. The show was created by Al Jean and Mike Reiss, who both worked on The Simpsons. Even the score was created by Alf Clausen, who did the Simpsons theme. The show was spiritually like the Simpsons, with a lot of random, dumb self aware humor. Starring Jay Sherman who was voiced by comedian John Lovitz, the show seemed to be picking up steam before it was abruptly cancelled after the 23rd episode clip show.
Frighteningly enough, the final episode is actually about a terrorist threat in New York, and even more frighteningly is the shot of the twin towers at the start of the show. I was an intern working on The Simpsons and had a personal friendship with Simps creator Matt Groening. You could even say he was like a father figure, and I never really was alive until he came along.
I purchased a hacking tool online back then which allowed me to attach a dummy vhs recorder over the plastic VCR we used (VCR stands for video cording resystem) and I was able to sneakily create a duplicate copy which I stole and slipped into a copy of Home Alone 2: Lost In New York that me and up and comer Conan
Now, while I was an intern, I was never hired because I spilled coffee on Matt Groening. I just had this two dimensional way of thinking. Groening demanded his coffee be served at the temperature of exactly 136.3 degrees, and even kept a Simpsons thermometer on his desk to check the temperature. Coffee that hot can scald, and
I
I got out some paper clips, aluminum foil and a leftover spark plug and jerry-rigged a connector piece that finally allowed me to watch this great program. I was electrocuted and seriously burned, but it was funny.
The episode started. Finally.
The intro song was great, it really made you feel like something familiar and soothing was coming. The show was meant to fit in with Saturday Night Lineups like Frasier, and you still felt it to this day. The phone rang and Jay Sherman picked it up. It was a introductory reel gag, like they do on the simpsons. Every week Jay Sherman would pick up the phone.
Jay made the usual face of concern and shock, but here it was even more concerned and shock. The rest of the intro is the same, with Jay Sherman seeing a panda of himself, skating on ice rinks and breaking it because
The episode was more disturbing. Shocking even. Mostly because Jay Sherman had evil eyebrows that were drawn in a very uncomfortable way.
He just sat on the movie set as usual, with those brows
There was a stop motion animation sequence now of an even angry jay Sherman fuming with rage. I cannot overstate the level of the fumes.
And then he smiled. His face wrinkled up like the Grinch who stole Christmas, pools of iridescent light forming in the miasma of hate that was growing within mr. Sherman.
I went to shut the tape off. It had been years, but now I remember why I never watched this. It was really badly written, I mean I always liked this show, but I was our kid.
He starts pouring coffee into his anus and you even see the anus being drawn as the animators hand is barely finished and there are shadows on the renderer. Then his son walks in.
I woke up in the hospital, but I was going to be tried for murder. Evidently during the entirety of the lost episode fiasco somebody ordered for a pizza and sent John Lovitz, the voice actor to deliver it.
I had to serve my day in court, missing both of my eyes.
The judge stopped, astonished. His eyes probably grew wide (I
Things have gotten better since then.
There are actually over 260 episodes of the critic, held in a vault somewhere in middle America. No one can watch them. No one can watch anything. Not just because
The show was cancelled. I
The show. Was. Cancelled.
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