The Curious George Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
m
→top: replaced: “ → " (40), ” → " (40), ’ → ' (82), ‘ → ' (6)
No edit summary |
m (→top: replaced: “ → " (40), ” → " (40), ’ → ' (82), ‘ → ' (6)) |
||
Line 1:
I
One day, I was eating a banana and pondering the meaning of life when something dawned on me: I was alone. No matter how intimately close I could get to someone physically or emotionally, I would always be alone. This realization led me to detachedly study the animal life of the place, until I…well, I started loving one of the animals. …Ha, yeah, very funny. You know what I mean!
It was just me, a humble Ohian man, alone with my favorite non-human primate. Or maybe all primates period! We hung out a lot together, entertaining the kids with our public displays.
I found meaning in life from the big, hairy guy, but…one day, he was gone. Nobody told me why. They said that everyone, everywhere already knew.
I asked my boss where my buddy had gone, but all he did was tear up and say that nobody could ever know. At least in this life. I demanded a better answer out of him, and instead of give me a verbal response, he handed me a DVD case.
I immediately recognized the man in the yellow hat. He was known as
I know I
I decided to go take a shower before finishing watching the disc. I know this is bizarre, but my body wash smelled of hot dogs. I had never bought hot dog scented body wash before, so this was some sort of inexplicable supernatural occurrence. After scrubbing my privates with a hand towel, I eyed my Mickey Mouse toothbrush and thought a lot about dad. If he was still alive, he would be greatly ashamed that I
This time, Curious George was at school. Yellow Hat was arguing with
I put the tape/disc back on pause and drove to the local library. I checked Charles
When I got home, I skipped supper in favor of continuing to watch the show. This time, George and The Man were in
Yellow Hat was crying. His eyes were flooded with tears. His hat was slightly tipped, as if to express a state of mourning. I felt really uncomfortable watching this scene. Yellow Hat had put Curious George to bed, covers over him and everything, but there were no bedtime stories. Just a pregnant pause. Something was clearly wrong.
I scratched my head. Kinda like a monkey, I guess. I got up to turn off the program, but before I could… the episode changed to a news show anchor.
I spit up. My Mickey Mouse toothbrush was planted firmly in my mouth until that scene. But someway, somehow—even though I
The following morning, I marched back into my
We walked upstairs to his bedroom (he lived out of his zoo office.) It was… unkempt. Banana peels all over the floor. He reached for a photo holder and handed it over to me.
It was my boss, and he was holding a baby chimpanzee.
At first, I
I had fallen head first. My face was numb. I knew that the man in the yellow hat would be on me in moments. And there he was…with a pillow in his hands. It had rocketships and baseball gloves decorated all over it.
The man in the yellow hat was smothering me. I was running out of air. The world was all black. I tried punching, kicking, whatever, but it was to no avail. I was going to die. Cause of death: banana peel.
I tried imagining a better world, in my mind. A world in which Jacksonville man still had his monkey baby, and he
There was a thud. A slight one, but I could hear it. I had struck pay dirt.
I jumped on my feet and ran as fat as I could. At this point, the world had turned red from all the flood pouring down my face. Yellow hat had foolishly left the front door open! I ran through the zoo park, puddles of blood oozing from my face. Children screamed. Fathers shouted expletives.
I stopped at Burger King on the way home. I used some fast food napkins to wipe down the blood. The cashier gave me a look like I was a ghost.
When I got home, I checked my favorite news website, foxnews.com. Unsurprisingly, my ex-boss (
As it turns out, yellow hat was indeed Jacksonville man. It was mentioned that it was amazing that another incident had occurred after what happened to my friend. Turns out that a kid fell into his living area, and yellow hat had our hairy buddy killed. He
As for me now? I turned my house into a
You see, we all evolved from monkeys. Actually,
Yet, I loved Harry. And so did my boss. We were both humans who took care of the same gorilla. But what do I know? I thought a chimpanzee was a gorilla, and I worked at a zoo. That chimp in the photograph
Who was Georgio? Who was the they who took him? I did some Googling and Yahooing. Made some calls. My research led me to NBC Universal Television Distribution. I took a vacation from my dentist job and flew out to their HQ in Manhattan, New York. When I talked to the secretary, she thought I was crazy. I told her to call her boss and the truth would come out, or
When I mentioned that I worked for Jacksonville man,
I paid for the
The Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens sit at the mouth of the Trout River. Fitting, given that there was something fishy about all this. I flew there from Manhattan, kissing my new love goodbye forever.
I purchased my zoo ticket with a fever in my eyes, and charged my way straight to the monkey display. An old man wearing assless chaps and sporting a solid gold harmonica started playing the blues.
The man scowled at me.
I was in for the shock of my life. I… I woke up in a cage in what looked like a musty old cellar. Rusted bars, cobwebs, gray slab walls, moss. And even worse than that… I was strapped in some sort of dentist chair style contraption. It was difficult to make much out, but I saw a plaque over a spotted wooden desk that appeared to read:
My eyes enlarged. I gasped.
Now, I know what
I know this may seem like a sad ending, but it comes with a caveat. You know that famous proverb about monkeys typing up Shakespeare if you give them typewriters and enough time? …Well, I wrote this,
Oh, come on! Stop feeling sorry for me! I eat all the bananas I want, watch a lot of TV, and my owners think
Well, they did it. They finally made monkey out of me. But enough of that!
''Ooh, ooh!''
Line 99:
''They finally made a monkey out of me!''
{{v|reading|UMIXNI-mLhY}}
|