The LambSauce Wars: BeastMode: Difference between revisions
m
Text replacement - "“" to """
m (Text replacement - "Category:Shok ending" to "Category:WHAT A TWIST!") |
m (Text replacement - "“" to """) |
||
Line 8:
Only this time I didn’t splooge muh jammie bottoms. I had that dream again. The dream about that fucking room. The blood and bone and flesh strewn about, the hooks, the pictures, and that fucking girl. Tied to the bed, naked as a fucking newborn, missing teeth, missing fingers and toes, and her arms and legs twisted like they were goddamn twizzlers. And the smell, that damn smell, I haven’t been able to count change since that day, the smell of pennies reminds me of the blood. I got up, put on my night fedora, grabbed my emergency blunt. And walked outside to ponder what to do with myself. I don’t know why the girl had been getting under my skin so much recently. It had been over a year since we crossed over into their world. I mean shit, they didn’t even look like us.
I snickered
'''
'''<br>
Line 25:
'''
Gordon knew something was wrong. He called all the monks to the main chamber. It didn’t take long for Gordon’s suspicions be proven true. The storm was much closer, and in a massive flash of lightning, a figure came from the skies. Gordon couldn’t see the entity's details, but he could tell it wasn’t the soy-ridden fuck he’s tangled with in the past. He ordered the monks behind him as the figure touched down. Finally, the figure stepped out from the bolts of lightning. The figure was massive, and thicc as fuk. He hawt muscles protruded from his t-shirt that was 2 sizes too small. His arms were covered in pressure bands, his long hair peeking out from his backwards hat. And perhaps the most terrifying of all...was his thick, flowing, beard. Gordon stepped back, but was determined to defend the temple and the freshly made sauce. The man took a step forward and spoke:
'''
'''
'''
Line 43:
'''
'''
The LambSauce was his for the taking. The LA Beast made his way through the empty temple to the room hidden in the chambers below. Finally, he found the lockbox that held the sauce. Beast. '''<br>
'''
'''
LA Beast laughed
'''
Daniel sighed
'''<br>
Line 80:
'''<br>
'''
'''
'''
'''
Gordon turned back around.
We continued on our journey through hell.
Line 115:
Part 4
'''
'''
Line 126:
'''
'''
'''
'''
Gordon looked down to his sauce necklace only to see that the scepter was broken, and all the sauce had leaked out. He sighed, but steeled himself.
'''
We finally reached the end of the
'''
Line 155:
'''
'''
'''
The look of realization filled Gordon’s delicious face
Gordon laughed and grabbed me by muh dik. '''<br>
'''
Part 5
Line 174:
Keem was busy testing out new recipes for his restaurant when in a flash of lightning the Beast appeared in his kitchen.
'''
Keem snarled, but knew he was in no room to negotiate.'''<br>
'''
'''
LA Beast raised his hand palm up, and in a small bolt of lightning the bottle was resting in his hand. He could tell that Keem was desperate for the sauce. But just as he started pouring Keemstar’s cut. A powerful vision came to him. It was Gordon, alive, but….not alive? The vision confused Beast. He hurriedly poured the rest of Keems share and handed it to him and started to leave.
The LA Beast turned around to see Keem conjuring up a powerful sauce spell.'''<br>
'''
'''
Beast disappeared in a bolt of lightning as Keem laid on the floor, barely breathing.
Line 204:
Gordon used a spell to stop us before we hit the ground. Well, stop HIM. I hit the ground dick first and felt something bust, but now was not the time for tears. For what was in front of us was truly sickening. Millions of soy ridden degenerates trying their hardest to get at a single bag of soy hanging from a rope just out of reach. There were tearing eachother bit by bit just for a chance to get the soy, but alas, nobody ever reached the substance. And either fell into the bloody moshpit, or had their body torn to bits by the ravenous faggots who crave the miniscule amount of soy in the blood of every hipster douche.
I looked gordon right in those baby blues
Gordon looked at me like I was a retarded child'''<br>
'''
With that Gordon summoned up a spell. A blue aura illuminated his fist as he jumped in the air and punched the ground. The ground rumbled as the blue aura left his hand and made its way into the crowd.
'''<br>
Line 236:
'''
'''
Rather than being met with a fuckable hipster, I was met with a sharpened stick jabbed right into my fucking eye. I fell back onto the bloody ground.
The girl stuck her head out of the cave entrance.
The girl then pulled out some piece of shit camera from the fucking wild west days and took a close up of my destroyed eye.
I looked at her through my one good eye. Definitely who i was looking for. I pulled the stick from my ruined eye and held my hand over my eyehole.
I grabbed her by the arm and drug her through the sea of ravenous hipsters. We were directly above the powdered soy when I felt her get the jitters. I looked behind me to see her staring directly at the soy, a small bit a saliva dripping from her mouth. I gave her a hard tug and drug her back to Gordon, who was sitting on a rock watching the bloodshed.
'''
Line 260:
Gordon then turned his attention towards the girl
I looked to Gordon
Max continued.
'''
Max shivered
Max appeared to ponder the question then spoke:
'''<br>
Line 299:
Part 8
The Beast then pulled out the sauce and created a massive line. He pulled out a massive straw and stuck it straight up his nose and to his fucking brain.
'''
Line 311:
'''
'''
I perked up
'''
Gordon stood there weighing the pros and cons of each. '''<br>
'''
She did what was asked of her and we made our way towards...wherever we were going.'''<br>
Line 345:
'''
'''
Gordon spoke up:
'''
'''
The voice manifested itself as a black mist in front of us, and once again spoke. '''<br>
'''
It pointed to Max first
It then pointed to me
It pointed to Gordon last
Gordon steeled his heart and spoke to the being
I had no answer to that.'''<br>
'''
The mist spoke up again
'''
The ground below Max’s feet lit up and dozens of scorched hands came up and dragged her down. Her flesh began to melt. Her screams filled the circular room. The last thing I ever heard her say was
The mist chuckled '''<br>
'''
Gordon gulped
The mist stared into me
The mist encircled Gordon, who fell to one knee and clenched his chest. He then got back up. His eyes red like hellfire. The mist then encircled both of us, and we woke up where we had been killed. The temple.
Line 428:
Part 10
He reached up to his temple, closed his eyes, and said something.'''<br>
'''
'''
….
Line 442:
Beast was busy eating a meal of cacti and pussy when he received the message.
Beast chuckled and said to himself.
He reached up to the sky and teleported in a bolt of lightning
Line 450:
….
In an instant the sky grew dark with storm clouds. And in a bright flash there was the LA Beast. Finishing an extra prickly cactus.
Beast laughed
Gordon smirked
With that the LA Beast flew at Gordon at inhuman speeds. He threw a superpowered left hook, but Gordon ducked just in time and got him right in the jaw with his own hook. The LA Beast, now enraged sparta kicked Gordon right in the chest, sending him through a temple wall, but Gordon picked up a piece of rock and chucked it so fast it broke the sound barrier. It hit beast right in the face, shattering his nose. Both now weakened, were reduced to wrestling eachother. But Beast, simply stronger than Gordon, picked him up above his head and dropped gordon right onto his knee. I cringed as I heard a cracking sound. The beast then threw Gordon right in my direction.
When I got to Gordon I could tell he was in bad shape. I picked up his head, blood was running out his nose and mouth. Between spitting up blood he told me something.
Line 470:
"R-R-Raiden...open up my shirt.” I did as I was told and opened up his white chef’s shirt. I was so worried I didn’t even get hard when I exposed his sick eight pack.
On the verge of tears, I got up slowly and faced the Beast. He started to laugh even harder.
I didn’t say a word. I got up and tore off my trenchcoat. Exposing my unitard.
Line 482:
I spoke
'''
Line 490:
'''
'''
He charged, but dodged the knife attack and brought his knee right up to my chin. I flew into the air and landed hard on my back. I could feel my teeth loosen and my jaw lock, but I kept fighting. This time I took the offensive and charged LA Beast, but he caught me by the throat, much like he did before. He prepared the same decapitating punch, but just before he did so I stabbed him right in the ribcage. He dropped me and grabbed at his abdomen.
I somehow got to my feet and made my way towards him while stumbling from the sheer agony. I finally got to Beast, who was somehow still alive.
Beast muscled out a laugh. He then raised his blackened hands and made two finger pistols at me
'''
Line 514:
I limped my way back to Gordon. He was alive but barely breathing. I tried my best to carry him, but my body was simply too broken. Someone eventually found us and we were rushed to the hospital, where we eventually recovered. Once we got out we agreed to meet at the temple.
We sat on the steps of the temple watching the sun go down. I decided now was the time to tell him
'''
I did as I was told and handed over the pager to Gordon. I got up put my hand out for Godon shake, which he didn’t. After about 5 seconds of awkward silence I left for my home. I was free, and I never looked back.
Line 550:
'''
'''
I knew that voice. That fucking voice.
'''
Line 563:
'''
'''
I saw he had a weapon. I never knew the man to use guns, but I wasn’t gonna take a chance. I quickly loaded a full magazine into my degale and took aim. Gordon, unphased, slowly walked towards me, and aimed the rifle. I unclicked the safety and prepared to fire. Gordon then dropped the rifle back down, I did the same. Then he once again brought it up. Only this time he let go of the rifle. I watched the rifle fall to the ground, but he took advantage of my momentary lack of attention and quickly locked me in a hold, my pistol hanging down by my side. He was almost hugging me. He then whispered in my ear
'''
After he said that Metal Gear Solid 4: Father and Son started playing. Creating an even more intense atmosphere
I was confused:
Gordon spoke up again,
'''
His hand slid down my arm and grabbed my deagle. He then pulled away with my deagle in hand.
'''
'''
I couldn’t help but ask:
We walked towards the man in the wheelchair.
'''
Gordon walked around Keems veggie body.
'''
Once Keem was finished, Gordon continued.
Gordon looked me dead in my one good eye.
Gordon struggled to squat
'''
As the music got louder Gordon reached down and turned off the oxygen connected to Keems life support. Keem groaned and started to struggle as his breaths grew more and more ragged. Gordon reached around and embraced him as his oxygen ran out….Keem was now dead. Gordon slid his eyelids down and turned off his life support.
Line 629:
I spoke up
'''
Gordon turned to face me once more
Just then Gordon gripped his stomach and fell to his knees while moaning in pain.
Gordon began crawling towards a gravestone. He tried to get up to his feet, but fell again. '''<br>
'''
Gordon looked up to me
While his words resonated inside me Gordon tried to get back up. I helped him to his feet, and he continued his monologue'''<nowiki/>'''
Gordon let go of me and fell on all fours in front of her grave, much like the way I was before he showed up.
I was pretty sure she died because she sent her teacher a picture of her shit, but I wasn’t gonna tell Gordon that. Dementia is a bitch.
Line 669:
Gordon then struggled to get up to his feet, but when he did, you bet your ass he started monologuing some more.
Gordon stood at attention and brought a shaky hand to his forehead, and saluted Max’s grave...for some reason.
Line 675:
Gordon released and barely kept his balance
Gordon reached out to give me a handshake. I hesitated, but reached my hand out to meet his. Just as we were about to shake he clenched his stomach and fell to the ground in pain, but luckily I caught him. The fucker still wasn’t done talking.'''
Gordon tried to get back up, but slumped back onto her gravestone.
'''
'''
Gordon pulled out a fatass doobie and brought it to his mouth.
'''
He got out his lighter, but was so weak he dropped it. So he spoke some more
The dubie fell out of his mouth, he was too weak to blaze it up.
Line 702:
A single tear strolled down his face as he turned toward Max’s gravestone.
A hero shouldn’t go out like that, so I quickly picked up the doobie and lighter. Took a huge ass drag, and placed it in Gordon’s mouth.
Line 710:
Gordon took a few light puffs. I placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked up to me, and muttered one final phrase.
I watched as the life drained from his eyes...and the doobie dropped from his hand.
|