The Last Pizza Die-livery I'll Ever Make: Difference between revisions
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== CHAPTER ONE: THE RECKONING ==
It was 3AM, the witching hour. Although it was more like the bitching hour with how much my manager was whining at me. Look, everyone mistakes the pizza
But this time, he seemed extra angsty for some reason.
== CHAPTER TWO: THE LONG
The only good part about night shift biking is that the cold wind is ideal for blowing out the glass shrapnel that was now embedded in me. Do wish I had summer heat to cauterise the gaping wounds though.
But I had no time to be wistful about the weather. Driving at night demanded maximum concentration. There were leaves blowing in the wind. Foxes rustling in the bushes. Chainsaw-wielding hitch-hikers holding up signs saying
At least I was until it ran out of charge. I ended up eating it in order to fend off the temptation to eat the pizza. Tasted like shit, but
It was a deer. With an authentic deer-in-headlights stare. Which is odd, as I
In retrospect, if I did have it on I probably
▲In retrospect, if I did have it on I probably wouldn’t have crashed into the deer. Speaking of which...
== CHAPTER THREE: OW! ==
That fucking hurt!
== CHAPTER FOUR: THE SANCTUM OF SATAN ==
I awoke from my several-month long coma in the middle of the forest next to the remains of my bike. Luckily the pizza cushioned my crash, and was still warm thanks to my sweet ass sweat! Undeterred, I unstuck what
While I lacked any form GPS navigation for highly nutritious reasons, I knew
By the time I got inside I noticed the building was completely empty. Great, must have been another prank call to waste my time. I wanted to leave, but I
▲By the time I got inside I noticed the building was completely empty. Great, must have been another prank call to waste my time. I wanted to leave, but I felt… funny, and weighed down. The distinct ticking sound in the background didn’t help either. Thankfully just in the corner of my eye I noticed something to help me relax: A giant bean bag! Sure it looked like liquid tree bark and glass but beggars can’t be choosers.
== CHAPTER FIVE: THE HORROR BECOMES THY ==
Resting on the bean bag
Fuck it.
I flung open the pizza
Drat.
The radiation promptly began tearing the structure of my body to shreds, which combined with the cannibalistic desires mutated me into a horrible monster, an evil spirit that would forever haunt these halls. Only one single conscious thought remained in my mind:
== CHAPTER SIX: THE MORAL OF THIS STORY ==
Still better than Pizza Hut.
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