The Lost Superman Episode: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "{{NSFW}} {{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by Schizima. Don't take it seriously.}} Does anyone remember Superman: The Animated Series? It was based off of the popular comic book about the titular comic book hero. Yet what a lot of people don’t know is that there is a missing episode that the WB pulled from its lineup in the mid ‘90s even though many people saw it. I know I saw it, because I was in it. I know what you’re thinking- as I often kno...") |
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{{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by Schizima. Don't take it seriously.}}
Does anyone remember Superman: The Animated Series? It was based off of the popular comic book about the titular comic book hero. Yet what a lot of people
Anyway, I was looking at drawn anime hentai of Joe Camel masturbating on some anime chicks when my phone rang. It was my supervisor, Titus. As he rambled on about my work duties and my job requirements, I noticed something strange from the corner of my eye. At first I thought there were some figs dancing across my floor- but no, they were something else.
I thought nothing of it and popped a VHS of Superman: The Animated Series into my VCR. At first I found it kind of creepy because after the normal intro, I saw only my living room with me sitting in the center of it on my couch. How did the film producers manage to film me in my house looking at camel porn without my consent? Anyway, I thought nothing of it until I saw a video of myself showing off amazing superpowers. I
I put the VHS back on. Now I appeared to be stepping on cans like the incredible hulk. This was so fucking stupid. I mean I
My grandmother came in from the other room.
I looked out the window. My neighbor was out there, Louis Lane. Ah what a sexy babe, with an incredibly sexy body. I squinted and I swear I saw her naked body using my x-ray vision. My god- I had super powers! This was insane. I think
But this all begged the question. Could I fly? Well, I
It was…the California raisins. You may remember them, from the
I went outside and saw a little boy in a wheelchair who had chemotherapy. At first I thought nothing of it, but then he furrowed his left eyebrow as he got onto the schoolbus. I knew it. I knew it was him all along. The raisins sat in his coat pocket, snickering at me. Those fucking raisins. So what did I do? I did what all superheroes do. I went home and I plotted. I used google maps to find the young
I put the VHS back on. And that was when I saw the camera in the corner of my room. Someone had put it in there to film me, perhaps weeks, months or years ago. Someone had been watching me for years. It all made sense now. I had a tendency to sleepwalk. And due to severe war trauma I
I knew someone was playing mind games. I
All of a sudden I realized that part where something profound but not really. You see,
I realized I
Guess what? Lex DID show up, proving to me all along that he had been plotting.
The truth was that if the whole playground erupted into smoke and flames, my glasses would get singed off, my suit and pants would burn away, but I and the suit would remain. Only superman can survive such a fire. I climbed to the top of my treehouse and warned them that if I jumped from this distance it would cause a shock sufficient enough to kill every animal in a thirty mile radius. Because I am fat.
Lex took out a raygun and pointed it at me. The California raisins were on his shoulder. Those. Fucking. Raisins.
As it turns out,
Now then, be a good citizen.
As I lay there in the jail cell, naked, with a man with a dinosaur head, I picked up a copy of Newsleek that the warden had left there for me. The front page was stunning.
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