The Quest for the Sacred Onion: Difference between revisions

== {{Note|WARNING: This is probably going to suck dicks. And if Mutahar is reading this, luv u bby <3 ==}}

"Well, no, I didn't, but still! At least give me a warning!"

The plane slowly began to move forwards, before lifting off the ground, and zooming off at Mach 2.

Shrek punched him in the face, and sent him flying towards MutaharMarkiplier, Onion in hand. They collided, and Jon crashed into the concrete wall, dying on impact. Markipler died with him. Mutahar shakily got up, prying the onion from Jon's cold, dead hands. I ran behind Shrek, and emptied an entire magazine of 9mm into his skull, stunning him temporarily. Mutahar ran towards the dazed ogre, and slam dunked the Sacred Onion onto his head. In a brilliant flash of light, he exploded, leaving behind a blood soaked Mutahar and a small onion. He crushed it under his boot, and dropped the onion, falling to his knees.

"Y-Yeah. Let's get out of here before more guards come." He got up, and just before we left the room, the ceiling blew open, and a large wall of text descended from the sky. It read, '<em>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’llI'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’veI've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’mI'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’reYou're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’sthat's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever”"clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’tcouldn't, you didn’tdidn't, and now you’reyou're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’reYou're fucking dead, kiddo.',</em> written in rainbow Comic Sans MS. Mutahar's heart stopped, and he immediately died. Comic Sans were his weakness, after all. I grabbed the onion off the ground, and ran towards the door. I burst out of the train station, and sped down the streets.