The Source of All Gamepastas: A "Bullshit Creepypasta Storytime" Fanfic: Difference between revisions
The Source of All Gamepastas: A "Bullshit Creepypasta Storytime" Fanfic (view source)
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I had just arrived home from my summer-long vacation. My dad's car pulled up into the driveway and we got out. A garbage truck was emptying the neighbours' bins, but as I watched, I saw the box for XCOM: Enemy Unknown fall out of one of them and into the truck. I became exited, it was an awesome game and I desperately wanted to get my hands on it. The garbage man reached for the compactor lever and was about to crush the box.
I immediately ran up to my room and installed the game. Before I knew it, I was shooting aliens and commanding my squad. The game was everything I'd hoped it would be! I played the first mission and did some micromanagement at my base until it came time to shoot down my first UFO. I selected the contact on the hologlobe and launched Raven-1. Interception in this game is kind of shit, you just sit there and watch as your plane exchanges fire with the spaceship until one or the other dies. But this time something weird happened, I had nearly destroyed the UFO when suddenly, the UFO launched what appeared to be a Zangoose from Pokemon at my interceptor.
The screen stayed fixed on Officer Bradford, Dr. Valhen, and Dr. Shen staring at the hologlobe, their confused expressions mirroring my own.
That night, I had a terrible dream, I was the pilot of Raven-1 engaging the UFO from my game. Through my headset, Central Officer Bradford ordered me to fire at the UFO. I knew what was going to happen, but I obeyed. I pulled the trigger on my control stick and watched as three missiles impacted the UFO. Then, as I expected, the Zangoose from my game was fired out of the UFO and landed on the nose of my plane. The red marking on the Pokemon's stomach was unusually large, and it shot me a terrifying glare. Zangoose began punching my canopy, I watched in horror as the glass cracked more and more until it eventually shattered. The pokemon crawled into the cockpit with me, it grabbed my oxygen mask and tore it right off. With the wind shrieking past my ears and suffocating me, the Zangoose leaned towards my face and spoke clear as a bell:
I looked at my alarm clock, it was only 3AM. I was afraid to go back to sleep, lest I have another nightmare. I thought about what the Pokemon said,
I lay in bed, kept awake by anxiety and hypnic jerks, but eventually I drifted off again. I slept soundly the rest of the night, I must have had dreams, but I knew they were normal because I couldn't remember them afterwards. That morning I was nervous, but I knew I had to get to the bottom of this, so I booted the game up again and continued from my save file. The game was normal most of the way through. I completed abductions, terror missions, council missions, and progressed through the story just as a normal player would. However, I got UFO interceptions much less frequently than normal, but whenever I did, the same thing as before would happen. The evil Zangoose would jump at my interceptors and destroy them. The second time this happened, I freaked out, thinking it would give me another nightmare, but I continued to sleep soundly the next few days no matter how many times the little bastard showed up. Of course, being unable to successfully shoot down UFOs did make the game considerably harder, as nations pulled their support and I kept getting poor grades from the council. I was beginning to dismiss the whole thing as being nothing more than a weird easter egg put in by one of the devs, believing the dream to be just my brain trying to process all the weirdness that had occurred.
But then, I eventually got to the point where I could build my first Firestorm. I got the usual cutscene of Bradford, Valhen, and Shen looking at the ship being tested in a lab, Bradford said
The skyranger touched down at the crash site and my squad disembarked. The first few turns consisted of my troops being moved up towards the ship, usually the most boring part of any battle, but for me it was terrifying! I was convinced that something fucked up was about to happen, and I could only imagine what kind of monstrosities could pop up out of the darkness. My fears were lifted when the first enemies I ran into were a group of sectoids. There were also some thin men and floaters guarding the UFO but I took them down in very short order. Once I had killed them all, the BGM cut out and for a few tense seconds, everything was silent. Then, an ear-piercingly loud Zangoose cry screeched in my headphones! I recoiled at the sound and threw my headset at the floor! My ears were still ringing, but I picked the headset up and put it on again. I moved my troops up to the entrance of the ship and my initial fears were confirmed, standing just in the doorway of the ship was the scarred Zangoose from earlier. It's opening animation was of it standing perfectly still, before cutting to another screamer with a close up of it's menacing face. Zangoose instantly ran up to my sniper and kicked her to the ground, it then tore her head off with graphic detail. My assault panicked and fired at the murderous pokemon, but the plasma blasts harmlessly bounced off Zangoose and flew back at the poor man, killing him instantly. Zangoose retreated into the ship. Just his opening movement and already, two of my squad members were dead.
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I moved my squad into the ship, Zangoose was nowhere to be found. I was more nervous than I had ever been, and I desperately wanted to close the game and go outside, but some mysterious force beyond my control kept me glued to my monitor. I had my heavy split off from the group and explore a narrow corridor, and he came face to face with ANOTHER pokemon. This time it was a Mewtwo wearing a crown and king's robes. After his opening animation, which was identical to Zangoose's, the Mewtwo used a PSI mindfray on my heavy and killed him; I watched in horror as I got a close up shot of his terrified, screaming face as he clutched his head and dropped to his knees before recoiling back and sprawling across the floor. All I had left was my support and an Alloy S.H.I.V.. Reluctantly, I moved them into the middle of the UFO's central command room, and what I saw truly shocked me! There were human bodies hanging by shackles from the ceiling, they had all been killed in different ways; some had been decapitated, others had been gutted with huge holes in their chests, some were completely clean, I can only assume they were asphyxiated. However, one body hung lower than the rest, right in the middle of the chamber: it was a man in a military flight suit bearing the XCOM logo, the pilot's mask was sitting on the floor below him, still connected to his suit by it's oxygen hose, there was a massive hole in his abdomen, and his intestines were wrapped around his neck. But worst of all, his face... it was my face! I sat back in my chair, stunned and appalled. I was no longer questioning where the game came from or who had created it, the moment I saw that body, I was overcome with dread. At that moment, the entire command room lit up and Zangoose and Mewtwo walked up. They were followed by another figure, it was the blood-eyed Sonic from Sonic.EXE! Yet another figure approached, it was Jeff The Killer! A green column of light appeared and the Link statue from Ben Drowned materialized next to them. At that moment, I realized what this whole thing was, it was some kind of nightmarish Creepypasta family reunion! I ejected the disc and slammed the power button.
I knew it couldn't be a hacked game, because my my face was modelled perfectly in it! There had to be something supernatural at play! From that point forward, I made it my mission to gather as much info on these creepypastas as I could, and then I would find as many haunted games as possible, play them, and face the monsters that they'd sic on me. I went to bed that night knowing I'd have another nightmare, but I knew I had to suffer through it if I wanted to get to the bottom of this. I drifted off, and sure enough, I found myself in the body of the support lady back-to back with the S.H.I.V. in the command room of the UFO. I was surrounded by characters from creepypastas all over the net, some I recognized, some I didn't. The S.H.I.V. fired it's Gatling gun, but Zangoose lunged at it and tore it's hard drive out. I tried to shoot at some of the freaks moving towards me but King Mewtwo PSI-choked me Star Wars style, it lifted me into the air and Zangoose jumped on me and climbed up until it was staring me in the face, it said to me:
With many questions, I decided to consult my best friend. God knows how I originally made friends with him, he's actually a pretty shitty person; he's disrespectful to me, he's narcissistic as all hell, he's an absolute coward, he couldn't write a story to save his own life, and he has this weird fetish for timing things. Nevertheless, he has experience with haunted games, so I knew he was the best person to go to. I arrived at his house but he wasn't home, there was a note on the front door stating that he was visiting his cousin in the hospital. I lifted up the doormat, and sure enough, the house key was underneath it, it's just like him to use such an old trick. I entered the house and began to look for something I could use. I walked up to my
The computer had Internet Explorer open, it was displaying 'DETH TRUMPET' on the Trollpasta Wiki, I also noticed a half-empty tissue box and a garbage bin filled with crumpled tissues.
I arrived home, and immediately started preparing. I used my mother's mascara to streak my face like war paint, I took a red piece of fabric and tied it around my head like a bandanna. I fashioned plate armour out of pots and pans and stole my father's shotgun as well as a giant AC battery. I also stole my mother's crucifix from the mantlepiece and I took every game console in the house as well as a old CRT TV up to my room. I was ready to begin my great creepypasta war. I knew that if there was a power outage, I'd be screwed, so I plugged all my electronics into the battery, it had enough power to last me weeks. I plugged all the game consoles into the little TV and stashed all of my late
The ensuing war was one of endurance and sanity. I spent the next few weeks locked in my room playing through every cursed game in the collection. They ranged from laughable to downright traumatizing. As I expected, many of them ended with some kind of demon or monster being sent after me; I couldn't even count how many dolls were sitting on my bed by the end. Every time I finished a game, I'd nail it to the wall and shoot it so that it could never haunt anyone else again. As I played through the games, I quickly became desensitized to the horrors they would throw at me. Soon, the sight of hyper-realisitic blood became mundane, the thought of my beloved video game characters being turned evil or being gruesomely killed provoked nothing more than a faint laugh, and the screamers didn't even so much as raise an eyebrow. The cliches went from ironically funny to downright painful. By the 3rd week, I was starving, the taste of SunnyD had worn out and become absolutely sickening, my room reeked of piss and shit since I forgot to bring a porta-potty, and I hadn't bathed, slept, or brushed my teeth in days. It was hell on earth, but eventually I had finished every single game in the pile... except for one: XCOM Enemy Unknown. Without a moment's hesitation, I inserted the disc into my computer and started it up. I thought it would be fitting to honour my
<blockquote>
<i>It was the Autumn of Friday, I was about to play XCOM ENEMY UNKNOWN so I could find out about the ghosts that we're haunting me. When I started the game, the base appeared and I went to the hologlobe and played the gam. I did mission, but every time a soldier died, the screen would turn read for 5 secounds and a scream and there was nothing but blood. I was scared, when my best heavy dyed, I cried for half an hour, striken with greif! Onece I was moving through the UFO, but then a Mewtwo waith a crown appeared in the black ship background! He turned to my assault and looked her straight in the eye, but it was as though he was actually addressing me!
</blockquote>
The skeleton flew at me, I didn't have any time to react and was grabbed and dragged into my monitor. When I came to, I was lying in a polygonal re-creation of my bedroom. I looked up and saw a Zangoose plushie floating above me, next to him was a young boy wearing a crown and king's robes.
Zangoose continued;
That is the story of how I came to join Zangoose and the King Of Pokemon in their quest to haunt, and ultimately exterminate, all life. Already, I've detailed my experiences and uploaded them to the Trollpasta Wiki (knowing that the Creepypasta Wiki would never accept my story.) Now, as I sail over the clouds and skip along the stratosphere hand in hand with my new allies, we are planning a very special game for our next target, one so malicious and evil that he will no doubt be left with no choice but to kill himself, effectively doing our job for us.
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