The Source of All Gamepastas: A "Bullshit Creepypasta Storytime" Fanfic: Difference between revisions

With many questions, I decided to consult my best friend. God knows how I originally made friends with him, he's actually a pretty shitty person; he's disrespectful to me, he's narcissistic as all hell, he's an absolute coward, he couldn't write a story to save his own life, and he has this weird fetish for timing things. Nevertheless, he has experience with haunted games, so I knew he was the best person to go to. I arrived at his house but he wasn't home, there was a note on the front door stating that he was visiting his cousin in the hospital. I lifted up the doormat, and sure enough, the house key was underneath it, it's just like him to use such an old trick. I entered the house and began to look for something I could use. I walked up to my friend’sfriend's room only to find him dead on the floor with his throat slit! There were big paw-prints in the blood that looked like they had been left by some kind of giant rodent, I instantly knew, it was Zangoose! It had entered the real world!!! I found another note on his body, it read: "A Japanese translation, Of, Another word for it" I stared at the note, perplexed as to it's meaning, it looked like some kind of riddle. I put it in my pocket and began to search the room.

I arrived home, and immediately started preparing. I used my mother's mascara to streak my face like war paint, I took a red piece of fabric and tied it around my head like a bandanna. I fashioned plate armour out of pots and pans and stole my father's shotgun as well as a giant AC battery. I also stole my mother's crucifix from the mantlepiece and I took every game console in the house as well as a old CRT TV up to my room. I was ready to begin my great creepypasta war. I knew that if there was a power outage, I'd be screwed, so I plugged all my electronics into the battery, it had enough power to last me weeks. I plugged all the game consoles into the little TV and stashed all of my late friend’sfriend's haunted games and SunnyD where they'd be easily available. I put on the crucifix, knowing that I'd have millions of demons after me once I had gotten through all the evil games, and if that didn't stop them, a blast from my shotgun would. I boarded up the door and windows so that nobody could disturb me, I booted up my computer and turned on the TV and game consoles, finally, I inserted the first haunted game of the battle: Sonic.EXE. With a stopwatch in one hand and a glass of SunnyD in the other, I chuckled and said "Come and get me!"

The ensuing war was one of endurance and sanity. I spent the next few weeks locked in my room playing through every cursed game in the collection. They ranged from laughable to downright traumatizing. As I expected, many of them ended with some kind of demon or monster being sent after me; I couldn't even count how many dolls were sitting on my bed by the end. Every time I finished a game, I'd nail it to the wall and shoot it so that it could never haunt anyone else again. As I played through the games, I quickly became desensitized to the horrors they would throw at me. Soon, the sight of hyper-realisitic blood became mundane, the thought of my beloved video game characters being turned evil or being gruesomely killed provoked nothing more than a faint laugh, and the screamers didn't even so much as raise an eyebrow. The cliches went from ironically funny to downright painful. By the 3rd week, I was starving, the taste of SunnyD had worn out and become absolutely sickening, my room reeked of piss and shit since I forgot to bring a porta-potty, and I hadn't bathed, slept, or brushed my teeth in days. It was hell on earth, but eventually I had finished every single game in the pile... except for one: XCOM Enemy Unknown. Without a moment's hesitation, I inserted the disc into my computer and started it up. I thought it would be fitting to honour my friend’sfriend's death with this final session, so I decided to write a creepypasta in his signature (Read: shitty) style, detailing the events that followed. I got out a pen & paper and readied my stopwatch, the following is what I wrote: