The Truth Behind the Wand: Difference between revisions

''I, J.K. Rowling, am the sole author of the Harry Potter series. Aside from the minuscule amounts of aid from a few editors, the words concealed within those covers are my own words, and as such it is with no regret that I should reveal my plan, should ever the need for a confession to arise. In years to come, as my plan comes to an end, the last survivors of humanity will wish to know what it was that made me so great, that made me so powerful. What it was about me that led to the fall of the human race. I can now reveal that I am, in fact, a lesbian.''

 

 

''However, the bulk of my plan remains within the true events of the story, events that shall be revealed with the release of my eighth book. I will come clean, and describe the following in little detail – all shall be revealed shortly. There is no need for an in-depth description. Simply put, the final novel shall reveal that Harry's tales of fights with Voldemort was all a lie, a tale conjured up to distract his wizard friend from the truth. In fact, Harry and Voldemort were but homosexual lovers, engaging in all manner of intercourse behind the watchful eye of the Hogwarts teachers. I revealed this with the multitude of wand fights that the two engage in, and the supposed hatred that was, in fact, quite the opposite. Harry, disowned by his parents for his homosexuality, claimed that they were murdered, and that he hated Voldemort while in fact he shared a passionate love for him. Dumbledore, who was madly in love with Harry, grew jealous of their relationship and threatened to out them both. Harry and Voldemort murdered Dumbledore to hide the truth, and blamed it on Snape, who in turn was also killed before he could tell anyone. This subtle yet effective story is all part of my plan. Millions have read the Harry Potter novels, and millions will have their minds changed and warped by my villainous literature.''