The most cliched pasta ever: Difference between revisions

▲Hello, you may not know me. My name is Tom Jim. I am a 22 year old computer engineer who likes to fiddle with computers. I used to be an intern at Cartoon Network but I quit after I saw a lost episode called "Spingleblab's Adventure Time Jeff Dead Suicide" it was really scary, so.... I had to quit my job as an intern. When everyone there saw the video, they threw up and killed themselves. I'm the only one left. But that isn't the point of my story... Recently I was looking on E-bay and I found this unscratched disc called "Generic.exe" and it was a perfect disc with zero scratches. My parents promised to buy it for me for my birthday but they never did. I always wanted this game but I was never able to find it. This version was different from the original, however... This was the Super Silver Beta Lost version! I noticed something strange, though.... The seller was named "666 evil Jeff Patrixx" so I was kind of worried to buy it. I just passed it off as a glitch, though. I bought my computer from a bald old man at a yard-sale a while back, so... He said it belonged to a dead kid named Joe. But that's beside the point. I asked the guy on E-bay if I could buy it and he said "No, I'm sorry, you cannot buy it from me. Wanna have some fun?" so I said "Sure. It sucks that I can't buy it from you, though." and he sent me a download link to a file called "Notavirusscamfuncreepydon'topenthisyoudumbarse.rar" and I downloaded it. Feeling slightly uneasy, the file installed but I noticed something was weird. My computer background was just a white background and all of my shortcuts were replaced with a folder called "Patrixx Sex Tape Bloody Evil Carly Rae Jepsen 666 Jeff Tails Sonic" so I opened it and just dismissed the name as a glitch.

▲It had two files in it, one was an installation file called "Sonic.Tails.Mario.Pokemon.Generic.Expansion.exe" and a JPG file called "Sexyhorsebutt.jpg" I reluctantly clicked on the JPG and it opened except the picture was horrifying... I immediately jumped back at the site. It was a picture of a hyper-realistic dead body with hyper-realistic blood and hyper-realistic gore. The body was hanging from the hyper-realistic ceiling by it's hyper-realistic intestines and there was hyper-realistic blood dripping off of it. You could see the person's hyper-realistic brain too! Then, a hyper-realistic creepy voice came through the hyper-realistic speakers that said "You're next" and then the file closed and my computer background changed to a picture of hyper-realistic Patrixx with hyper-realistic blood and everything!

▲The game shouted "HURRY UP OR YO BISH IS DED AND U AIN'T GONNA GET NO SEX. LOL" so I inserted the disc into my CD ROM and it insalled instantly! The disc was a blank disc with "Generic.exe" written in a black marker. Right after it installed, the expansion installed onto the file. The expansion was 100 GB! 

▲The haunted dead kid who owned this laptop said "U HAVE MY LAPTOP U DUM BISH I'MMA KILL U." and he then he came through the computer screen and slapped me in the face. What's weird about that you might ask? HE WAS PATRIXX IN DISGUISE!!!

▲Patrixx then killed me and there was blood everywhere. That's how I'm writing this! Then a skeleton popped out.

▲[[Category:EVIL PATRIXXX]]

▲[[Category:Sonic]]

▲[[Category:Satire]]