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This morning I was putting on my shoes. One of them flew off and floated in the air, but it was just a glitch. I had to hurry to leave when the flying shoe started whacking me on the head. Later in the day, I was standing outside the school with friends talking about another group of friends when a person standing near us shouted, "EVIL PATRIXX IS NIGH! NIGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
[[File:EvilSpongebobPatrickPattyWagon.jpg|thumb|Look at them smile as they drive through all that hyperz-relistic blood! Terrifying!]]
He looked right at me. I remembered that he had been standing in the same spot for several days now, even when it was raining and when one of the school cooks had thrown a plate of moldy cheese at him when she was angrily chasing a big, brown dog that was saying "Scooby-doobee-doo!"
He looked real shabby, too, and had a black hood up to try to hide his face. He ran up and gave me a Nintendo 64 cartridge.
==This morning...==
"DON'T PLAY THIS!!!" He said dramatically, running off in another direction for a few feet before collapsing.
This morning I was putting on my shoes. One of them flew off and floated in the air, but it was just a glitch. I had to hurry to leave when the flying shoe started whacking me on the head. Later in the day, I was standing outside the school with friends talking about another group of friends when a person standing near us shouted, “EVIL PATRIXX IS NIGH! NIGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
"Awesome!" I said. I hadn't seen a Nintendo 64 cartridge in ages.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He looked right at me. I remembered that he had been standing in the same spot for several days now, even when it was raining and when one of the school cooks had thrown a plate of moldy cheese at him when she was angrily chasing a big, brown dog that was saying “Scooby-doobee-doo!”</p>
Later on when the bum's body was covered up and being placed on a stretcher, I decided to walk home. I didn't have a Nintendo 64, but while walking, I saw one in a garbage can in an alley. It had some eggshells and blood on it, but I wiped it off.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He looked real shabby, too, and had a black hood up to try to hide his face. He ran up and gave me a Nintendo 64 cartridge.</p>
At home, my parents came home for just a few minutes before leaving again. They were super-pale and were missing their noses, mouths, and eyes, I think. They told me they had to do something in Spain for while or something. I don't know... I never really look at them.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“DON’T PLAY THIS!!!” He said dramatically, running off in another direction for a few feet before collapsing.</p>
I was happy the console started up. The cartridge was green with something written in blood covered ink, "DON'T PLAY THIS GAME!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Awesome!” I said. I hadn’t seen a Nintendo 64 cartridge in ages.</p>
"Never heard of it..." I thought to myself.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Later on when the bum’s body was covered up and being placed on a stretcher, I decided to walk home. I didn’t have a Nintendo 64, but while walking, I saw one in a garbage can in an alley. It had some eggshells and blood on it, but I wiped it off.</p>
The second I put the cartridge in, sparks, green stuff and blood came flying from the Nintendo 64. Just a glitch, I thought. The TV floated off its stand and started flying in a clockwise motion. That had never happened to me before, and I started to think that the cartridge added features to the console.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">At home, my parents came home for just a few minutes before leaving again. They were super-pale and were missing their noses, mouths, and eyes, I think. They told me they had to do something in Spain for while or something. I don't know... I never really look at them.</p>
A pink face appeared on the screen. It was hyper-ultra-realistic, I mean photo-quality, and it was of someone I read about in newspapers. They had said, "BEWARE EVIL PATRIXX! HIS REIGN IS NIGH!" and it showed Evil Patrixxx in front of pictures of flames. I didn't think anything of it until now.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I was happy the console started up. The cartridge was green with something written in blood covered ink, “DON’T PLAY THIS GAME!”</p>
A sound came from the TV, "BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYOUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZ" and the pink, terrifying face started materializing in front of the screen. Just a head was floating, and it was a smilling Evil Patrixxx. In horror, I picked up a pillow and hugged it. To my horror, blood and pasta started oozing from it, so I threw it on the ground and picked up a toy instead. The toy had blood from the pillow, so I threw it on the ground also.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Never heard of it...” I thought to myself.</p>
"I WILL X YOU OUT!" Yelled Evil Patrixxx. I wanted to run away, but I was lazy. His head formed a body under it, and he flew at me. The floating shoe from earlier in the day tried to stop him, but Evil Patrixxx swatted it away. The shoe was thrown into the corner of a desk and was mortally injured. A large hole opened up along its rim, and blood rushed out of it. In pain, it continued to protect me and vainly threw itself at Evil Patrixxx. It was bounced off by an EVIL SHIELD this time, and hit the ground, crushed. Tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn't even gotten to know Shoe's name.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">The second I put the cartridge in, sparks, green stuff and blood came flying from the Nintendo 64. Just a glitch, I thought. The TV floated off its stand and started flying in a clockwise motion. That had never happened to me before, and I started to think that the cartridge added features to the console.</p>
Right when Evil Patrixxx reached me, I was expecting to die but instead was transported to a pixelated world. In the side of the world was a TV screen, and I could see my room through it. I was in the game!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">A pink face appeared on the screen. It was hyper-ultra-realistic, I mean photo-quality, and it was of someone I read about in newspapers. They had said, “BEWARE EVIL PATRIXX! HIS REIGN IS NIGH!” and it showed Evil Patrixxx in front of pictures of flames. I didn’t think anything of it until now.</p>
"Shoot," I said sadly.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">A sound came from the TV, “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYOUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZ” and the pink, terrifying face started materializing in front of the screen. Just a head was floating, and it was a smilling Evil Patrixxx. In horror, I picked up a pillow and hugged it. To my horror, blood and pasta started oozing from it, so I threw it on the ground and picked up a toy instead. The toy had blood from the pillow, so I threw it on the ground also.</p>
There was lots of pixelated blood everywhere, some was even realistic. The sky was red, and so was the stuff covered in blood. After an extended silence of standing around, doing nothing, I screamed as loudly as I could.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“I WILL X YOU OUT!” Yelled Evil Patrixxx. I wanted to run away, but I was lazy. His head formed a body under it, and he flew at me. The floating shoe from earlier in the day tried to stop him, but Evil Patrixxx swatted it away. The shoe was thrown into the corner of a desk and was mortally injured. A large hole opened up along its rim, and blood rushed out of it. In pain, it continued to protect me and vainly threw itself at Evil Patrixxx. It was bounced off by an EVIL SHIELD this time, and hit the ground, crushed. Tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn’t even gotten to know Shoe’s name.</p>
The world's red sky had large, transparent flower shapes for some reason, and no grass seemed to be growing anywhere. Instead, seaweed and seashells were in abundance. I was standing on a street at night under lamplights, and there seemed to be a lot of strange houses made out of things. In the distance I could see a large pineapple with windows.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Right when Evil Patrixxx reached me, I was expecting to die but instead was transported to a pixelated world. In the side of the world was a TV screen, and I could see my room through it. I was in the game!</p>
"Ha ha ha!" I heard a high-pitched laugh in the distance. I also heard the sound of an engine.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Shoot,” I said sadly.</p>
Driving through the blood was a car shaped like a hamburger, and it was coming at me. I ran out of its way just in time to see a yellow sponge-man and star-fish man laughing like crazy while driving this giant hamburger. As they hit a mailbox on the side of the road, laughing, the car lost bits and pieces of its hamburger side. Even a bite appeared!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">There was lots of pixelated blood everywhere, some was even realistic. The sky was red, and so was the stuff covered in blood. After an extended silence of standing around, doing nothing, I screamed as loudly as I could.</p>
The sight was the most god-awful thing I've ever seen in my life. Fear from the darkest regions of my soul wound up and coiled around my mind entirely. That laughing sponge and starfish man will haunt me forever. I felt like I was going insane!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">The world’s red sky had large, transparent flower shapes for some reason, and no grass seemed to be growing anywhere. Instead, seaweed and seashells were in abundance. I was standing on a street at night under lamplights, and there seemed to be a lot of strange houses made out of things. In the distance I could see a large pineapple with windows.</p>
I started running in circles, screaming.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Ha ha ha!” I heard a high-pitched laugh in the distance. I also heard the sound of an engine.</p>
Evil Patrixxx came up from the direction of the giant pineapple, screaming out, "YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE!!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Driving through the blood was a car shaped like a hamburger, and it was coming at me. I ran out of its way just in time to see a yellow sponge-man and star-fish man laughing like crazy while driving this giant hamburger. As they hit a mailbox on the side of the road, laughing, the car lost bits and pieces of its hamburger side. Even a bite appeared!</p>
I screamed and ran to the giant screen showing my room, and somehow ended up there. I turned off my TV, but it wouldn't! I unplugged it, but it stayed on! I smashed the screen with a hammer, yet the image was still there! I turned off the Nintendo 64, and that worked, so I ran out my room and down the stairs to escape my house!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">The sight was the most god-awful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Fear from the darkest regions of my soul wound up and coiled around my mind entirely. That laughing sponge and starfish man will haunt me forever. I felt like I was going insane!</p>
Evil Patrixxx was there! He said, "Thank you for releasing me! Now the world is DOOMED!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I started running in circles, screaming.</p>
He began eating all the furniture in my house while I cried and ran outside. The sky was red and there was written in red paint, "The end is nigh! NIIIIIIIIGHGGGGGGGGGHH!" It also said, "Bob, you owe me 5 dollars," in small writing.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Evil Patrixxx came up from the direction of the giant pineapple, screaming out, “YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE!!”</p>
People were running in terror, and I saw the bum who gave me the game run up to me.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I screamed and ran to the giant screen showing my room, and somehow ended up there. I turned off my TV, but it wouldn’t! I unplugged it, but it stayed on! I smashed the screen with a hammer, yet the image was still there! I turned off the Nintendo 64, and that worked, so I ran out my room and down the stairs to escape my house!</p>
"I thought you were dead!" I yelled.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Evil Patrixxx was there! He said, “Thank you for releasing me! Now the world is DOOMED!”</p>
"I was!" He said. "You released Evil Patrixxx, didn't you?"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He began eating all the furniture in my house while I cried and ran outside. The sky was red and there was written in red paint, “The end is nigh! NIIIIIIIIGHGGGGGGGGGHH!” It also said, “Bob, you owe me 5 dollars,” in small writing.</p>
He ran into my house and screamed loudly, "NOOO!" as a loud "Bang!" filled the air, along with a sickening crushing and eating noise.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">People were running in terror, and I saw the bum who gave me the game run up to me.</p>
"I wonder if he's okay," I thought.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“I thought you were dead!” I yelled.</p>
I ran inside and saw him in front of the refrigerator, holding an empty box of doughnuts.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“I was!” He said. “You released Evil Patrixxx, didn’t you?”</p>
"No! They're all gone!" He cried, as Evil Patrixxx was eating the dining room furniture in the other room.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He ran into my house and screamed loudly, “NOOO!” as a loud “Bang!” filled the air, along with a sickening crushing and eating noise.</p>
I yelled at the guy, "How do we get rid of Evil Patrixxx?!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“I wonder if he’s okay,” I thought.</p>
"He'll never die!" said the guy. "Instead, we need to send him back to where he came from."
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I ran inside and saw him in front of the refrigerator, holding an empty box of doughnuts.</p>
The guy finally took down the hood he had on, revealing himself to be... A bum! Or just a really shaggy person. No... Shaggy from Scooby-doo-doo!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“No! They’re all gone!” He cried, as Evil Patrixxx was eating the dining room furniture in the other room.</p>
"We need to put him back in the game," He said. "Where's that game then?"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I yelled at the guy, “How do we get rid of Evil Patrixxx?!”</p>
I was glad I didn't destroy the game! I ran upstairs and heard music from upstairs, saying, "Shouting in the street, gonna eat the whole world some day—you got blood on your face, just a small taste, for when Evil Patrixxx comes to eat your brains." I reached my room and took out the bloody cartridge from the old console. Music was coming from the console, saying, "HE WILL, HE WILL... EAT YOU! EAT YOU!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“He’ll never die!” said the guy. “Instead, we need to send him back to where he came from.”</p>
I ran downstairs and threw the cartridge at Evil Patrixxx' head. It just bounced off.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">The guy finally took down the hood he had on, revealing himself to be... A bum! Or just a really shaggy person. No… Shaggy from Scooby-doo-doo!</p>
"Oh!" Said Evil Patrixxx, a look of surprise covering his face as he lifted his head from the toilet seat he had been eating. "Slendy had invited me to dinner!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“We need to put him back in the game,” He said. “Where’s that game then?”</p>
He turned around and said something like, "Blue sca-doo, we can too!" and jumped into the game cartridge.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I was glad I didn’t destroy the game! I ran upstairs and heard music from upstairs, saying, “Shouting in the street, gonna eat the whole world some day—you got blood on your face, just a small taste, for when Evil Patrixxx comes to eat your brains.” I reached my room and took out the bloody cartridge from the old console. Music was coming from the console, saying, “HE WILL, HE WILL… EAT YOU! EAT YOU!”</p>
"Well, that's the end of that," I said.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I ran downstairs and threw the cartridge at Evil Patrixxx’ head. It just bounced off.</p>
Shaggy took the cartridge and gave it to me.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Oh!” Said Evil Patrixxx, a look of surprise covering his face as he lifted his head from the toilet seat he had been eating. “Slendy had invited me to dinner!”</p>
"We'll, time to get back to my pals!" He said.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He turned around and said something like, “Blue sca-doo, we can too!” and jumped into the game cartridge.</p>
"Hey, why'd you die?"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Well, that’s the end of that,” I said.</p>
"I was waiting for Scooby to get out of the school, but he took days, you know? I started freezing to death, man!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Shaggy took the cartridge and gave it to me.</p>
He ran out while I looked at the cartridge, and checked out its condition.
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“We’ll, time to get back to my pals!” He said.</p>
"Ebay!"
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Hey, why’d you die?”</p>
The End
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“I was waiting for Scooby to get out of the school, but he took days, you know? I started freezing to death, man!”</p>
...
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He ran out while I looked at the cartridge, and checked out its condition.</p>
After Shaggy left, I heard the song from the console play upstairs just one more time...
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">“Ebay!"</p>
<poem>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">The End</p>
"Buddy better hide, hear that big noise
Something deadly pink, Evill Patrixxx is coming your way
He broke into your place
In a big rage
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!
Buddy, he's a starfish, gone bad
Shouting in the street, gonna eat the whole world someday
You got blood on your face
Just a small taste
For when Evil Patrixxx comes to eat your brains
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">After Shaggy left, I heard the song from the console play upstairs just one more time…</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">"Buddy better hide, hear that big noise</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Something deadly pink, Evill Patrixxx is coming your way</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He broke into your place</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">In a big rage</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Kickin’ your can all over the place</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Singin’</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Buddy, he’s a starfish, gone bad</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Shouting in the street, gonna eat the whole world someday</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">You got blood on your face</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Just a small taste</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">For when Evil Patrixxx comes to eat your brains</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">(FEAR IT!)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Buddy you’re a dead man, stone man</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Pleadin’ that Evil Patrixxx gonna spare you today</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">He’s aiming for your face</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">A brain-dead waste</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">Now Evil Patrixxx will put you into your place</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU</p>
(FEAR IT!)
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!
Buddy you're a dead man, stone man
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!</p>
Pleadin' that Evil Patrixxx gonna spare you today
He's aiming for your face
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">(EVERYBODY!)</p>
A brain-dead waste
Now Evil Patrixxx will put you into your place
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU</p>
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU
(FEAR IT!)
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!</p>
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!
(EVERYBODY!)
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">(RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!)"</p>
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!
(RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!)"
</poem>
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:EVIL PATRIXXX]]
[[Category:Hyper-realistic]]
[[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]]
[[Category:MOTHERPROOF OFDAT FUCKSLENDURMAN THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINISEXUSTS]]
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