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Thomas the Hyper-Realistic Tank Engine: New 30th Anniversary Special Limited Edition Platinum XXX Lost Episodes That Was Never Meant To Be Seen DO NOT WATCH: Difference between revisions
Thomas the Hyper-Realistic Tank Engine: New 30th Anniversary Special Limited Edition Platinum XXX Lost Episodes That Was Never Meant To Be Seen DO NOT WATCH (view source)
Revision as of 03:24, 20 July 2015
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''The following is an entry from the feminist Tumblr page that once belonged to Mr. John Armideus Smith, who was found dead in the parking lot of a porn store.''
Sup fgts. I don't know if anyone will get this in time. I may be dead before anybody reads this, but even if I am, I wanted to get my story out onto the interwebs so that nobody else would make
[[File:Flat,800x800,075,t_u4.jpg|thumb|Thomas the Dank Engine (not actually relevant to the story)]] It all started on March 47th of this year. I was leisurely browsing iFunny and I ran into a post containing a Thomas the Tank Engine meme. As soon as I saw it, the creepy face of a train that possesses the ability of human thought and speech gave me a surge of childhood nostalgia. I loved watching Thomas the Tank Engine as a kid. My memories are so vivid I can even remember that time my mother took me to a therapist because I was watching way too much Thomas.
"Good afternoon, ma'am. So, why have you come here today?" the therapist said, adjusting his reading glasses.
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"Yes..." she confirmed.
The therapist took off his glasses and put them in his jacket pocket. "I see. Well, I... I don't know how to put this..."
At this point my mother was scared shitless. "Just
The therapist closed his eyes for a few seconds, then beamed. "I'm addicted to Thomas the Tank Engine too!"
My
Anyway, my nostalgia got triggered after seeing the iFunny post and I got a raging boner. I started reminiscing over all of the times I had watching Thomas the Tank Engine. It was always my favorite anime; it's way better than that weeaboo trash like Sword Art Online. I decided to bring back all of my joyous memories by watching some of my favorite episodes. With that thought in mind, I logged onto ZippCast (yeah, I'm hipster like that, DEAL WITH IT) and searched for Thomas episodes. However, the only thing I found was a 7-second long video that was just a black screen and a block of white text. The text stated, "hey u dumbass wanna c sum lost Thomas episode luk in da discripshun ov da vidyo kthxbai" and it seemed very suspicious. I checked the description and all that was there was a fishy adfly link. Under normal circumstances I would just ignore this link, but my urge to relive my childhood
''What did John find? Were the images that lay behind that link too hyper-realistic? Does John have erectile dysfunction? All these questions and more answered NEXT WEEK or some shit, whenever I finish this''
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