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== My Trollpastas ==
* TBA
* [[EvilPatrixxkillsyou.exe]]▼
== Trollpastas I uploaded here that were deleted ==
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So Kermit the ffgorn was walking wone day and he sasa a cartidjege of Majoras Mask abd sadi "I am is Kyurnmit z e Rfroagsefmefwff4we4f." eefew and cthen the cartirdege nwet qainto his hands and he possessed it by bleeding out his '''''<u>HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD.</u>''''' sos then Ker mit asaid 'deihf4 hey I could give this to a mentally not so stable 32-12 year old qwho wants' eto lpay a gayme,." so Keyurmit transmfomed and wantefd to gieve the cratigdge to teh ugy so he disguuised himself a s and old man and asaid to the man that wabtented the game "Here haev theis game I put my '''''<u>HYPER REALISTICE BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO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and so teh kid webought teh game an dathen kher played it anfd it was spooper sppopy an d he went to clevahr bouaht foru reasurance and clebaer boaught said "i am kyurmit the frog" abf then teh guy died of heatr attack but not befoer he wrote down EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAD HAPPENED IN IMMENSE DEATAIL andfbeufbuebfjenfjerejrhewhjfrh and then his friend played the gae abd recorded data abty video and image for the guy tah enuhddhduj3gfuj5g4ugrger.</u>'''''
My most recent trollpasta, inspired by the list of exe games that will never be made. This one lasted fairly long but was alas deleted. To be honest this is starting to annoy me.
Anyway, the story:
I'm a total EVIL PATIRXX fan, much like evryone else. I like the new PATRIXXes but I don't mind the classics. One day I was playing PATRIXXX unleashed on my abcdefeghijklmnopqrstuvwxyznes when the mailman cume and put somethign on my dor. It was a disk for typewriters and a note from my old friend Gary Stu, but was weird was how it tasted. It was strachty and hard to smell, it looked like he wrot it in a hurry.
Here's what it said:
"Mary Sue"
"I had to get rid of this somehow,and I thought you might do it for me. I can't man, he's after me. And if you don't destroy the disk he'll come after you to. I can't, he's too sexy for me. Destroy the disk and you'll destroy him, but do it quickly or he'll rape you. Don't even play the game, it's just what he wants. Destroy the disk, please,
Gary Stu"
Well that was weird. And even though Gary IS my best friend I was #triggered that he had just assumed my gender, so I decided to play the game anyway.
A simple game couldn't hurt him right?
Oh how wong I was.
I looked at the game and it said "EvilPatrixxkillsyou.exe", but not in Gary Stu's handwriting so he must have gotten it from Bootman Bill down the street.
I put the game into my vagina and after that didn't work I inserted the disk into my computer instead.
I noticed it was the title screen from EVIL PATRIXXX the PATRIXXX 1, and I thought this was cool because like I said, I'm a big EVIL PATRIXXX fan, but I never had the first PATRIXXX game. becuz rezuns now shut up. So anyway I hit delete and the game started but the title screen changed for exactly 0.22838484888853939495959949393949599584883 seconds. However because I am a Mary Sue, I was able to see all of this in full detail. It showed EVIL PATRIXXX but with a frown instead of his usual perverted smile that me want to have sex with him. Also his eyes were transparent and bleeding HYPER REALSISIRC stomach acids. The water had turned into soda and the sky was purple and lastly the ring was covered in shit, like someone tried to use it as a butplug. and it had the character select screen from PATRIXXX 3. I looked at the playable characters and they were Shrek, Sonic.exe, and to my surprise, Donald Trump. Now this was odd , I knew you couldn't play as Trump in a classic PATRIXXX game, I figured this must be a hack or a special porn parody version. So anyway I picked Shrek and went to the stage which was called "EVIL PATRIXX ACT 69". So anyway I went forward with my Ogrelord and soon I noticed soemthig, there wre dead childrens everywhere cuz ZOMG DEAD CHILDREN ARE SO SHOCKING. and on closer inspection their asses were torn open like they had been raped because ZOMG RAPE WHAT A SERIOUS SUBJECT WATCH AS I MISUSE IT IN THIS SHITTY STORY. But anyway, I kept going until I saw EVIL PATRIXXX but his back was turned and his eyes were cloesed. Shrek went up to PATRIXXX so they could make love but PATRIXXX opened his eyes and they were transparent and bleeding like the tielte screen. Gee? Concidence much? hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Anyway Instead of taking me to some bullshit hellish stage to make the story longer like <nowiki>[[Sonic.exe|some other peice of shit]]</nowiki> instead PATRIXXX just straight up raped Shrek which I fapped to and then killed him. And now I was pissed, because PATRIXXX killed my boner when he killed shrek. So I sought revenge on PATRIXXX for killing Shrek and for lying to me, to all of us, all this time, acting like he was our meme god when really he was just another asshole who killed people for no reason. Then there was some text that said "You're not sexy enough, want to try again?"
So anyway I picked Sonic.exe next. As you would expect from the other bajillions of stories like this you've probably read, I just had to walk right until the spooks came. This time, Sonic.exe tried to jumpscare PATRIXXX when PATRIXXX tried to kill him but this didn't work, so PATRIXXX simply teleported Sonic.exe to another dimension where he became very confused and somehow ended up in <nowiki>[[My Little Trollpasta (Part 1)|My Little Trollpasta ]]</nowiki> because mentioning other trollpastas in your trollpasta will totaly make you famous anf stuff. So yeah now that was dealt with EVIL PATRIXXX actually looked right on me and said "He was too much faggoty for me to rape and murder so I sent him somewhere. Pick Trump alreayd so we can get this shitty trollpasta over with."
I did as ex-lord and savior commanded when I was sent back toe character screen and picked Trump.
The first thing I did after entering the stage as Trump was build a wall to hopefully protect myself. However the wall was instantly broken by a random Kaiju who appeared out of nowhere only to be killed by Zoffy because random Ultraman cameos for life m8. So anywyay I said "fuck it let;s just get this overwith" and walked to the left. But when I did Doge showed up and was all like LOL NOPE and turned me back around. So I went to the right when suddenly: PINEAPPLES! This didn't make things any less sp00py so I kept going when suddenly: CAKE! I ate the cake and kept, things randomly appearing was starting to get annoying. So anyway I kept walking untl EVIL PATRIXXX appeared and had a fortysome with Trump, Hillary, Shronkey,Slendy, Jeff, Zalgo,GUD PATRIXXX, Red from nes Godzilla, Spongeboob, Ben, Sanic, Pepe le frong, Le Lenny, Your Mom, and various others.
This caused me to fap uncontrollably but right as I was about to finish, everyone stopped and I was all like "c'mon! Keep going!" EVIL PATRIXXX instead shook his head and lunged at me from the TV screen.
He killed me, I was dead, then I ebecame Skeleton and wrote this.
Oh and also YOU'RE NEXT.
So remember, if you see a game called "EvilPatrixxkillsyou.exe" It probably means EVIL PATRIXXX will kill you. So yes the title does make sense now shut up.
THE END111111
== Trollpastas I intend to write in the future ==
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