Why I'll Never Like The Cat In The Hat: Difference between revisions
Why I'll Never Like The Cat In The Hat (view source)
Revision as of 11:19, 30 August 2023
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We headed upstairs into my ball room. Yes I have a ball room located in my house just like everyone else does right? Right? Right!? Oh buggering buggerton please don't seriously tell me that I'm the only one that does that! In the centre of the ball room sat a large diamond crusted piano. Alec then said, "maybe I have a plan." He then proceeded to start playing a tune on the piano as he then continued with, "yes I do, but I'll need your help." For some reason, Baldwin saying this made me very angry as the piano then ended up falling through the dancefloor. I had been meaning to fix that dancefloor, but the prices oh man the prices! The piano ended up falling through seven stories until it eventually crash landed on top of The Cat In The Hat. I should also probably mention that Alec Baldwin was still playing the damn piano as it fell through the floorboards, but he couldn't give a flying fuck. He's Alec Baldwin he knew what he was doing. The Cat In The Hat was trapped underneath the piano, and after we eventually managed to push the damn thing out of the way we discovered that the Cat looked squashed like a pancake. We then proceeded to lift Cat onto the table as Baldwin headed into the kitchen in order to make a very important phone call.
One hour later, General Asquith and a small platoon of soldiers appeared outside my house. They had even gone as far as to bring a fricking tank onto the scene. Now ain't that a little excessive? My sister will be
General Asquith eventually managed to break free from the Cat's grasp as he yelled, "Mr Cat! Under section three of the emergency protocols: it is my duty to bring you to justice." He then finished his little rant with, "and by God I'll put this country under martial law if I have to!" "Tickle fight!" The Cat proclaimed as he started tickling General Asquith with a feather duster. This caught the general and his lieutenants completely off guard, and it allowed for the Cat In The Hat to escape into the outside world where he caused a bus to crash into the local stationmaster's house. The stationmaster was busy eating his breakfast with his lover Sam the conductor while a cynical diesel engine egged them on from a nearby window. Look what The Cat In The Hat did to their breakfast? Now they shall have to cook some more! We decided to leave General Asquith and his soldiers behind to clean up the mess as Cat and his two dodgy friends had made a real fucking mess of my painting of the Junkyard Dogs. Truly a painting that we all wish to have. They had also broken all the lights on Piggle's stoplight. Honey that stoplight was broken when he bought it. Mm yeah. Anyways, the four of us then proceeded to make our way out of the house and onto the busy streets of Peppermint Park.
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