XXXSONIC eXe THE REMAKEXXX: Difference between revisions
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(Inspired by JC the Hyena’s official Sonic.exe remake)
"Do u undastahnd laif? Do u?
Why does humanity exist?
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The guy who was once called Tom was just chilling at home enjoying some Sonic 06 as you do, when mysterious package appeared. It was a priority mail cardboard box that was 3x5 Kilometers. Tom wanted to open the box immediately, but knew he had to pad out the length of the story, so he got every silver medal in 06 and ordered 6 pizzas first. When he finally opened the damn box there was a discus and a letter inside.
The letter was written with perfect comic sans and said: "Tom, check this crazy new sonic game out! It’s totaly bodacious bra! It may even be better than Sonic 06. PLEASE PLAY THIS FUCKING GAME OR THE GOAT IN THE EMAIL IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME! -Your bestest friend Kyle.
"Wow! A new sonic game! Better pop this unmarked disk into my 3rd party windows laptop!
Then a new window opened that was not an ayy lmao.
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It was the original sonic the edgehog game rom thing. The logo looked normal except for the split second where demonic ketchup was raining from the sky. Tom eagerly pressed enter and then was taken to a character select screen with an endless amount of playable furry friends. Tom immediately selected his FAVORITE character Sliver, because he just loves Sonic 06 so much it wasn't a mistake.
Then a distorted voice like from a youtube poop asks him "Is this your favoritist character?
Then a loading screen popped up, Tom was spooked for sure.
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After a thousand paragraphs of loading Tom was loaded into a map. He was playing as Tails and had spawned into a 3D destroyed city map that was probably just ripped from Sonic 06. This reminded Tom of 06 as everything does. Tom then took control of his early 2000s track-pad and started to walk around.
The city was dead and spooky so it builds tenscion. Then Tom found Sonic chilling by a park but there was something different about him. Perhaps it was the blood hair gel in his quills, or the edgy vampire teeth implants, or maybe it was bleeding bloody blood eyes bleeding hyper blood. This was NOT SONIC AT ALL, What an honest mistake though. So Tails went in to the Hotel from Silent Hill the good one. Inside he find a sonic "WHERE U GOING THER BUDDY?
Tom immediately closed his laptop. "HOW COULD SONIC DO THAT 2 HIS BEST FREN?!
After some more filler some guy knocked at Tom’s door. At the Door was a scruffy detective cliche. "I’m Detective Puke Green from the Sonic City Police Department. Fear not for I am a fellow Sonic fan as well as all the good people in the world like Jesus and MLKJR. Your friend kyle has been kill. His body was strangled by a phone cord and a Sonic Plushie was next to the phone. We’ve arrested the Sonic Plushie but you need to come down with me to the slammer to answer some questions.
"You’ve already caught the culprit, why do you need me to go down there?
The next day was Monday, so Tom had to go to big boy college. At lunch Tom sat a table with his MANY FRIENDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
"Hey guys, our incredibly fleshed out friend Kyle has left us. He will be missed.
So the amazing quartet of Bland guy, Jock guy, Token Girl, and Tom venture to an abandoned computer lab on campus. Some homeless guy was masterbating in there or something but they were able to ignore him. They plugged in Tom’s laptop to a giant ass projector so everyone in the room could get a good view.
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The game started up once more and started with a new character. At first the furry was thought to be an oc before the token girl noticed it was some bitch from the comics which is basically fanfiction anyway. Sally Acorn walked down a hallway and came to a nightmare fetish torturing room with a abomination inside.
"PLEASE KILL ME I’M IN CONSTANT PAIN!!!!!
Then the projector started to flash rapidly and through the flashes Sonic started to reach through the screen, directly stealing the coolest and scariest scene in the new IT movie. Tom then karate chopped the projector until it was in bite sized pieces. The homeless guy then ate the projector because he was so hungry. Suddenly Not-Sonic’s hands tore away the room’s wall revealing final destination was behind it all along.
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Not sonic was actually a giant edgy purple furry that was fuckin’ ripped m8. He wasn’t sonic all along but X, MY OWN ORIGINAL CHARACTER!
"Suprise! It was me! I’m the one who’s been stealing people’s souls and taking them to video game land! I also started a cult of fanboys that have brainwashed everyone into liking Sonic for this was my plan all along you see and know I’m gonna get...
Tom and his amazing trilogy of lifelong friends: token girl, jock guy, and some homeless person Naruto ran down the halls of the cooledge building. "We need to find a closet to lock ourselves in, then we’ll be safe from the homos!
"In here!
"Tom please come out of the closet your parents are very worried.
AND THAT’S THE ORIGIN STORY FOR MY HUSBANDO OC PLEASE RATE 5 STARS AND LAVISH ME WITH PRAISE!
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