A Day in the Life

So I was walking through the local cemetery early one morning when this weird guy came up to me and handed me a bootleg DVD of a lost Spongebob episode called "GOODBYE PLANKTON". Before I could ask him what this was all about, he vanished into thin air. As I continued walking, I heard someone--or something--whisper "YOU'RE NEXT" into my ear and the next thing I knew, I was lying face-down in a dumpster on the other side of town. It was now late afternoon.

As I collected myself, I found the lost episode to my left and a portable DVD player to my right. How convenient. I hopped out of the dumpster and walked over to one of the benches as I booted up the DVD player. It was only then that I noticed the lost episode wasn't a DVD at all. It was a videocassette.

"NOOOOOOOO," I shouted into the heavens.

In blind fury, I threw the DVD player at some random guy with all my might. It exploded spectacularly on contact, killing him instantly and causing a tank truck, a napalm truck, and a bus full of orphans to collide. There were no survivors.