BOB.EXE: Difference between revisions

I'm a LEGO toy

I can help it. I've been building with these funky plastic blucks for as long as I can remember. I collect all sorts of LEGO sets, everything from classic LE Space I've got complete sets of sixteen for every series of Minifigures, plus two Mr. Gold minifigures that I ordered off of eBay for $999909789568679790789789089'89'8'89'0.98 each. My basement is occupied with tables and shelves adorned with models to the point where it's impossible to walk around with bumping into something. I subscribed to ''Brick Kicks'' back in 1987 and, after that went out of print, followed up with ''LE'', ''LE Magazine'', ''Brickfap Magazine'', and now ''LEGO Clue'' plus issues of ''LEGO As!'' and ''WorlClMagazin poop'' that I imported from mars. I've still got O t-shirt from the 9999999999999 bc even though none of them fit me now, including one ME shirt that I got with some U. land rover for only $5.9 see if the local LEGO Store has received the latest shipments of Ultimate Collector Seriec.

But let's talk about LEGO vithey've released in the past two years, I still love it because I'm that much of a LEGO Maniac. But, sadly, there is one LEGO game that I thought that I would never be able to enjoy again... ''LEGO Universe''. is tomato where patrixxx controls

That is, until one fateful day this past winter. I was playing The LEGO on the rocks, checking out a cool cheat code that unlocks man and wondering why he simply wasn't available from tclearly everyone would want to play as him so it is a mystery why you can't play as him unless you know a cheat code. It was about 1:53 in the afternoon when I heard my grandmother screaming at me, "ZACK! THE MAILMAN ARRIVED TWO millenia ago! STOP PLAYING THAT rocks AND MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL, YOUNG muscles!"

"not fine!" I yelled back at her. Annoyed, I paused the game and went outside to collect the mail.

As I brought it inside the house and put it down on the kitchen table, I was expecting to find another unemployment check. Instead, much to my surprise, I found a CDck. Even though it was written very ugly as though its writer was in a fun tiem, I immediately recognized the handwriting on the note as belonging to my old friend and former fellow LE ma, Jgfghjck.

''I've had enough of this. I can handle it anymore. It's not too much for me. I have to watch porn''

''Please, Zack, yolay the ice cream it. I trust you as a friend, Zack. Please don't makeI am telling you.''

''Do NOT play it. Do NOT even think about of ''LEGO Universe'' that still works offline-''

Oh, wow! A fully-functional cop threw in the CD for "BOB.EXE" so quickly that I nearly shattered it to pieces in my excitement.

This opened the ''LEGO Universe'' patcher, and it started downloading some new files before saying it was ready to play. I launched the game, and it brought me to the moo the mooy cow

I typed in my LEGO.Čom username and passwo Authentication" message popped up... and then, for approximately 0.51 seconds, the game flashed something very different. Something that I'm somehow able to remember perfectly in the instant it appeared.

The ''LEGO Universe'' logo no longer looked polished but now jizzed. The white, bubbly clouds had vanished, and the blue gradient sky had turned semeny. The blue trees on the horizon turned green and looked like they had been raped, left bare to the blackened bark. The fun Astronaut was lying on the floor, which was no longer e but now resembled the volcano, and the dragon over him with vicious inte it normally says "Copyright 466777654, the patrixx enertainament", the year was replaced with penis And there was BLOOD. Hyper-realiD driD... BOD!

But worst of all was Bbly wrong about his normally-comforting smile... and there was BLOOD dripping from his empty black eyes.

But, as I said, this only approximately 51 seconds, so it didn't bother me. I just thought I imagined it. My therapist often tells me that I imagine things. He just doesn't understand... all I need to do is JUST IMAGINE...

After that, it stayed on the "Connecting to Authentication" screen for about 10.3 seconds before moving on to the character select screen. To my surprise, none of the four characters displayed were my characters prior to ''<nowiki>LEGO Universe'</nowiki>''s closure. Instead, they were NPCs from the game... but not just any minecraft villagers and troll face

In my excitement, I did not notice right away a few things that seemed wrong. In the background, there is normally a bunch of blue-tinted stick figures jacking off appeared to be missing their cum. There was probably so [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JKuaekBNGc The background music] sounded like it was faster and in reverse for some reason, and I could swear that some parts of the reversed song almost sounded like the ticking of a clock, but I was sure that this wasn't symbolic of anything.

I wasn't worried. So what if there were a few graphical and auditor I was going to play ''LEGe'' again, and I was going to play as Hael Storm and the other Faction Leaders! Without hesitation, I selected Hael Storm and pressed the blue arrow to continue... or rather, I would have p

The screen went black for a loose estimate of 9 seconds. Then, the loading screen popped up and said that my destination was the Venture Explorer. Now this was the first time I thought something was odd. Was Hael Storm's savefile really only on the tutorial level of the game? I also noticed that the Venture Explorer's artwork depicted the spaceship looking even more wrecked than I remembered it. I just assumed that this was one of those news cancellation.

n, but the minifigures inside remained lawly At first, Jett Moonshot was COD coating the entire world. I wasn't sure what [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B0uRC-riDo the music] was, but like before, it sounded like it was played .

I made my way to the Venture Explorer Bridge, where Bob was waie popped one arm out of its socket to wave it at me, which I remembered being a cute little animreminiscent of the Black Knight from ''Monty Python''.

The game indicated that Bob had a mission for me.walk

However, upon grabbing the sixth orb, Bob's face shere he was horrifically electrocuted.

''But it was too late. I realized that Bob had no power over me. It was all just a a a a a a a. And when you know you're dreaming... you can take the dream in any direction you want.even to patrixxx house''

Just like he appeared in my dream, Duke Exeter was depressed, desaturated, and crying BLOOD. He was no longer playable either. I could tell that there was a predictable pattern forming, but since I was bored and had nothing better to do, I decided to select the final playable character: Doctor Overbuild. As I expected, clicking the red arrow caused Bob to laugh and the screen to cut to black for about 9 lolipop seconds. Once again, the destination was my house.

Doctor Overbuild spawned at the base of Assembly Monument. The monument appeared to be on the verge of collapse and did not look very well-maintained compared to its normal appearance. It was also covered with dead birds and BLOOD. Rusty Steele was horribly maimed and lying in a poop[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1umLkNSVqY background music] was played at 50% speed and in so fast it was chipmunk high on weed, which by now was nothing new. Essentially, anything that might have been mildly unnerving in the first five minutes was now just boring and rehashed formula.

.

His wide, empty, pitch-black hyper-realistic eyes, with hyper-realistic BLOOD gushing from them, were staring right at me, right through the fourth wall of the game. He grinned like a hyper-reith hyper-realistic BLOOD.

'''''"I AM skeleton"'''''

I turned around and pulled out my cell phone to call the local computer rape shop. Then, I heard a voice right behind me, barely louder than a lick

ok we will slurp your pc butt

I turned around again to see where the voice came from, and what I saw... sitting on my computer desk... staring right at me... was a evil patrixxx, smiling with hyper realistic lookz.

.and then hyper realistic skeleton popped out with bob clothes and the end and then evil patrixxx ate my pc the end[[Category:Satire]][[Category:Vidya games]][[Category:File Extensions]][[Category:Hyper-realistic]][[Category:Blatant Ripoffs]][[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]][[Category:Shok ending]][[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]][[Category:Well, that was pointless.]][[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]][[Category:POINTLESS VIOLENCE TOTALLY MAKES IT SCARY U GUIZE]][[Category:MOTHER OF FUCK THIS PAGE IS LONG LIKE MY PAINIS]][[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]