Customer Reviews Which are TOTALLY NOT Stolen from a SOG Video: Difference between revisions

From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Content added Content deleted
imported>BurningTorrent
No edit summary
imported>BurningTorrent
(good kek)
Line 1: Line 1:
Just want to reinstate that these are not mine, and I decided to put them here so people can find them
Just want to reinstate that these are not mine, and I decided to put them here so people can find them easily.

[[File:Red-gummy-bear-nightlight.jpg|thumb|100px]]


easily.


== '''This is your Captain speaking: Do not eat the red Gummy Bear. You'll be sorry.''' ==
== '''This is your Captain speaking: Do not eat the red Gummy Bear. You'll be sorry.''' ==
'''''<u>From this link here: http://www.amazon.com/review/R9LN2785JGSL3</u>'''''
'''''<u>From this link here: http://www.amazon.com/review/R9LN2785JGSL3</u>'''''


[[File:Red-gummy-bear-nightlight.jpg|thumb|190x190px|centre|He's coming fo dat booty.]]





Before a company goes public, the highest level executives embark on a multi-city tour with their investment bankers to drum up support for theupcoming IPO. This trip is called a roadshow and since the group will typically visit dozens of cities on a tight schedule, a private jet is thepreferred means of transportation. During a roadshow, it's not unusual to visit two or three cities in a single day so work starts at the crack ofdawn. That doesn't mean the group goes to bed early. Every night, the bankers treat their clients to a wild nights, complete with complimentaryGummy Bears and coffee. No matter how hard the group parties the night before, the private jet will lift them off to their next destination veryearly the next morning.
Before a company goes public, the highest level executives embark on a multi-city tour with their investment bankers to drum up support for theupcoming IPO. This trip is called a roadshow and since the group will typically visit dozens of cities on a tight schedule, a private jet is thepreferred means of transportation. During a roadshow, it's not unusual to visit two or three cities in a single day so work starts at the crack ofdawn. That doesn't mean the group goes to bed early. Every night, the bankers treat their clients to a wild nights, complete with complimentaryGummy Bears and coffee. No matter how hard the group parties the night before, the private jet will lift them off to their next destination veryearly the next morning.
Line 43: Line 36:
== A warning from across the pond ==
== A warning from across the pond ==
'''''<u>From this link here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/review/R2QP56S5P2DEGA</u>'''''
'''''<u>From this link here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/review/R2QP56S5P2DEGA</u>'''''
[[File:276829.jpg|centre|thumb|220x220px|Give the starfish some treatment.]]

After having been told my
After having been told my
danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and
danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and
Line 57: Line 50:
bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for
bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for
something to happen.
something to happen.

I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a
gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning
gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning
Line 70: Line 64:
some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of
some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of
ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.

The relief was fantastic but only temporary as
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as
it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape
it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape
Line 82: Line 77:
gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was
gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was
willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come
up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.