Derp Never Dies: Difference between revisions
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{{Note|HAI YOU! BEFOW READN DIS, READ [
Jeff woke up with a start. Wait, wasn't he dead? No, he was alive. But how?
He must have been dead, because he was in the morgue. But he was breathing,
▲Jeff woke up with a start. Wait, wasn't he dead? No, he was alive. But how? He had been stuck by lightning while attempting to climb the fence of the asylum. There had been a few seconds of agonizing pain, and then...nothingness.
He leapt onto the coroner's desk, and looked into his reflection on the
▲He must have been dead, because he was in the morgue. But he was breathing, he had to be alive! Maybe he was a zombie? His head hurt, as it always did when he attempted to think hard. Gee, everything looked a lot bigger than he remembered. He felt different too. He got up, and quickly discovered that he could no longer walk on his hind legs very well, so he hunched over and crawled along. He noticed he also a second pair of arms. He also felt a tail dragging behind him. What had that lightning done to him?! His head hurt again. He had to see what he looked like now.
As it turns out, they were taking out the garbage that day, and it was also
▲He leapt onto the coroner's desk, and looked into his reflection on the cell phone. Strange, his face didn't LOOK any different. Was it all in his head? Was it all a dream? He hoped so. Suddenly, Jeff heard the door open. He squeezed inside the coroner's lunch cooler and hid inside a Tupperware container full of mashed potatoes. The coroner picked up his lunch and took it to the lounge to microwave it. When he saw the huge, white, hairy-headed maggot asleep in his now half-eaten mashed potatoes, he freaked out and instantly threw the whole thing away.
Jeff woke up again. It was very dark, and smelly. He used his stinger to slit
▲As it turns out, they were taking out the garbage that day, and it was also the day when the garbage truck arrived. The garbage was loaded in and they drove off to their next stop, Blah City. At this stop (in the suburbs) the garbagemen didn't notice that one peice of trash had fallen out of the truck, and was now lying in the street.
▲Jeff woke up again. It was very dark, and smelly. He used his stinger to slit open his plastic prison. He looked around. A garbage truck rumbled away in front of him. He crawled out of the street, and into a nearby bush.
The next day, As Sam Unkler was trimming his bushes, he thought he heard a faint hiss coming from the other side. He went to investigate it, and there was nothing there. Little did he know that while he was distracted, Jeff had jumped onto his glove and crawled up his arm, onto his shoulder.
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