Epic@~!: Difference between revisions
m
Text replacement - "“" to """
Thermometer (talk | contribs) m (removed Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT using HotCat) |
m (Text replacement - "“" to """) |
||
Line 1:
Capone Shchlieden Cap-One, famous Jazz musician, was currently going to attend his daughter's wedding. Since she was having a wedding today, he wanted to look good for it. However, he recently got into an epic fight with Danger Man, and he was bruised all over the place. So he wore a cloak.
He entered the church were he immediately bumped into his daughter.
1 Hour LATER...
Line 11:
Suddenly, the main focus of the wedding entered. He was extremely tall (14”3, to be exact,) and he had pulled back, blonde, messy hair, a goatee, had a serious look on his face, and was carrying a bunch of flowers. He smiled confidently, and came across Schlieden Jr. The tiny man was also holding flowers, and let out a guttural growl. The stronger, taller, and just plain more deserving to exist man drop kicked Schlieden Jr. into the stalls, slamming him into a wall and knocking him unconscious.
Charline gasped.
20 minutes LATER...
Line 17:
Schlieden Jr. had, unfortunately, awoken, and everyone was gathered to witness the wedding commence. Charline and Aldo held hands, as a bored looking man with a lion face and an oversized chef’s hat stepped up on the stall.
The two obliged, and their lips almost connected - before a body dropped through the window, and landed right on Aldo!
Line 33:
Everyone looked on in silenced shock. Capone ran up to Aldo, and checked his pulse. Not a sign of life. Even the bored priest looked shocked.
Charline continued to beat on her own father, until a voice interrupted.
over the body that fell over the now deceased Aldo’s head.
WEDDING YOU WAITED A DECADE AND PAID LOADS FOR!!”
Picle turned around.
Charline raised an eyebrow as Picle lowered her eyes. Then she opened them all the way, staring straight into the soul of Charline. Charline shook, and passed out.
Picle turned around and back-kicked Charline, waking her up. Picle had shut her up, and she didn’t say a word again about her rant. Capone peeked out from under the stall. Everyone sat in silence, staring at the body. Then, something unexpected happened.
The answer she got was a living person burst out of the body, startling everyone, even so much that it knocked out the priest.
Line 71:
The person flew around the room for a few seconds, before Capone knew who it was.
Said man swooped down over Picle, did a swift 360 turn, held out his arms, and rammed right into Capone!
Line 77:
The force was so powerful that he was able to hold Capone in his grasp, smashing through the church doors and out into Sunday afternoon park. All the wedding attenders, even Picle, expressed wide-eyed shock at the scene before them.Schlieden Jr. ran around in circles, making an elephant sound. The idiot.
Danger man got up and towered over the grounded Capone.
Danger Man did a cool walk back into the church.
An ear splitting scream interrupted his killing spree. He turned back, and saw Capone had pulled a microphone from somewhere and did a sonic boom into it.
Danger Man turned again, ready to finish off the attenders. However, a beautiful sound came from where Capone landed. As the smoke cleared, Danger Man realized Capone had gotten up and was playing a magical tune with a saxophone.
Danger Man held his head in pain.
Capone was caught completely off guard as Danger Man beat on his face, kicked it, and finally headbutted him back into the church. He approached Capone, knife in hand.
Schliedon smiled.
Schliedon huffed.
A question mark formed on top of Schliedon’s head. This was a strange ability that only Schliedon could possess.
Danger Man then took his glasses off his mouth, approached Schliedon, and stuffed the glasses in his face. Danger Man then started to scream
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!! NO MORON HITS ME!!! NO FREAKLIN ONE!!”
Schliedon took the glasses off his face, threw them to the ground, and said
While this rather pointless argument raged on, Capone pondered something.
Apparently this was the case at least to Danger Man as well, as he flew into a fit of blind rage.
My RATH!
Danger Man charged.
2 and a half seconds later...
Line 140:
Danger Man lay on the ground, defeated and bloody, his face swelling with defeat. Schliedon stood over his defeated opponent, superior.
Schliedon started to walk away from the downed body of his opponent.
Suddenly, Charline marched towards him.
exasperated and just sat on a chair while Charline suffered.
Line 153:
Everyone was shocked as the gunshot went off. Charline lay bloody on the ground, a bullet in her ribs. Danger Man picked himself up off the ground, holding a smoking, old fashioned pistol.
The most violent, loud, and long scream the attenders had ever heard erupted from Danger Man’s mouth. It was enough, Picle thought, to shake even her Haoushoku Haki.
Line 161:
Schliedon got up, turned toward Danger Man, and gave him the most venomous, dangerous look ever.
Danger Man screamed again, and pulled out his pistol he used to shoot Charline.
Danger Man fired it at Schliedon, who didn’t even dodge it. But Schliedon didn’t expect the bullet to turn and pierce Charline a second time!
Line 171:
The other attenders screamed again. Was she dead?
Since Schliedon didn’t know who Danger Man was aiming for this time, he had a difficult time deciding. Hoping for the best, he jumped in front of Charline’s body to protect her from a third shot.
Line 179:
But the bullet didn’t go for Charline. It twisted past Schliedon’s face and aimed for Picle’s heart.
However, Picle did not even flinch. Instead she grabbed the bullet in mid air, twirled it around, and shot it straight back at Danger Man!
Line 187:
Danger Man took the time to reload. Schliedon took advantage of this and tried to punch Danger Man in the face, but he had already shot a bullet towards an attender which turned back and hit Schliedon in the back.
Danger Man stomped Schliedon’s back.
Danger Man fired a bullet at Schliedon, and, in the art of poetic justice, the bullet went straight back to Danger Man’s chest.
Line 193:
Danger Man cried out in pain.
Danger Man coughed, and looked up to see that Schliedon was standing over him, pointing his gun to the side. Danger Man grabbed the gun out of his hand and fired it point blank again, idiotically, and it hit Danger Man again.
It was official - Danger Man was the dumbest creature ever to walk this planet. He stumbled back, blood pouring from his mouth like a waterfall.
Schliedon spat and approached Danger Man. He kneeled down and checked his pulse.
The red button of the remote then flashed green and shot a beam of light at Schliedon’s face, causing him to shield his eyes. The beam then disappeared and the button, still green in color, started blinking slowly. It then got faster, when the least expected thing happened - a hologram appeared form the button.
It was a green colored hologram of a man. He was tall like Danger Man, except he wore a purple hat and a squeaky looking purple...dress? Then the controller began to speak, in a robotic woman voice,
Then another voice, which didn’t seem to generate from anywhere, arrived. It was a male voice this time, but just as robotic.
As if on cue, a huge tank burst through the back of the church. The walls crumbled into dusty debris, some of which landed on wedding attenders, forever trapping them under their mighty grasp.
Line 211:
By huge, I mean huge. Imagine the biggest cow you ever seen, you know, like the one on that Bull of Heaven cover. Multiply that cow by 20 times, and you would have this tank.
On top of it stood C Stumbler. It was undoubtedly him, standing straight and strong with a purple hat and dress. The man began to, well, stumble down from the top of the tank and land at the bottom of it. He scurried up, and got into a karate pose.
Schliedon facepalmed. This guy was 43 years old? More like 4. He figured it would be even easier to kill this guy than it would be Danger Man.
Schliedon rubbed his temples in frustration.
The wedding attenders looked on in shock at the dust and debris around them. The burning tank stood in front of the carnage, C Stumbler no where to be seen but definitely dead.
Schliedon grunted and lougied on the remains of the tank.
Then something unexpected happened. The deceased body of Danger Man began to rise up from the grave. It was like he was being pulled by an invisible force. Suddenly the force dropped him, and he got up!
Line 234:
Danger Man looked dazed and confused at first. He looked around, then saw Schliedon.
Then Danger Man started to flash back. He held his head in pain, and then remembered.
He turned to the tank.
[[Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE]]
[[Category:BATTELS]]
|