Every Copy of Mario 64 is NOT Personalized: Difference between revisions
Every Copy of Mario 64 is NOT Personalized (view source)
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{{Note|A fictional joke story written by DaveTheUseless}}
Okay, there's some pretty strange rumors going around lately, and I'm gonna put 'em all to rest right now. My name? My name is,
I first encountered a copy of Mario 64 that I didn't own (as, you know, a producer for Nintendo) at a yard sale. I was at a yard sale in the United States of America in the small town of Gainesville Junior, Florida. I asked if there was a public bathroom and there was, so I went inside the house and used the bathroom, and I thought the bathroom was kind of clean but I noticed a tile was out of place. After staring at the bathroom tiles, I noticed there was a message backwards in katakana, and that message said: 'We are onto you, Shigeru-san'.
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I was so scared. A shiver went down my arm, for some reason. I went ahead and I started screaming and I ran out of the house. "Aaaaahhhhhhh''hhhooooooooooooo''!!!!!", I yelled. My mouth got really, really big, kind of like how it does in anime, 'cause I was scared. After calming down, I purchased a copy of Super Mario 64 that was at the yard sale.
I noticed something was different, however. Instead of Mario on the sticker (I didn't buy it with a box, because they didn't have the box for the
At that point I was scared, because I'm afraid of ghosts, but I decided to take the game and take it home to me—to the hotel room that I'd been temporarily staying in in Gainesville Junior while working on my Visa getting back to Japan.
I plugged it into the hotel Nintendo
Anyway, I put in the game, had some fun, went ahead and threw King Bob-Omb off the top of the field, and then it occurred to
Alright, so I kept playing. I did that thing where you're inside of Peach's castle and you stare up into the sky and it takes you to a level. Well, that's when I realized that something was not quite right. Nosir. Instead of taking you to that happy sky place, there was a giant moon with an angry face on it.
A chill went down my other arm. I was scared. What was this? Was this an allusion to another game of mine: Majora's Mask? Yes, it
'The moon will crash within three days. In real life. Unless you do exactly what I tell you to
Well, I didn't know what to do. I started asking the moon questions in real life. Yes, that's right: I was talking to my hotel room Nintendo 64. "Is everything OK in there?", the bellboy, Jimmy Boy, yelled through my door. "Yes! Fine!
Well, I couldn't have this! I got up, and I went to turn off the
You know what was strange? I suddenly felt slightly greedier. Oh, no! That must
Oh,
"Ah,
Jimbo didn't give a shit. He knocked down the door! "Where's the pig", Jimbo said. "I haven't eaten in two hours!". "
I turned around, and I stared at the screen. And I saw the most realistic thing I have ever seen in my entire life outside of reality itself.
The
But it was flippin' scary, let me tell you that! Nintendo 64—although I'm quite proud of the Nintendo 64 system, we weren't that good yet. "What the fuck is this!", Jimbo said.
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Well, I knew what I had to do. I took Jimbo, and I clocked him right aside the head and I knocked him out and I threw him in the closet. I couldn't let him see what was going on in the Nintendo game. Not when it was a giant moon threatening to destroy the entire planet.
I sat down on the bed and scratched the back of my head for about five and a half minutes. George Jetson. What the hell was I going to do now? Did
"Come in!", I heard an old lady—man, I couldn't tell—shriek. I opened the door because, hey, I don't know, maybe that's some sort of American
An old man, an old
"
"Alright! Alright, that's it. There's something seriously wrong here, and I'm calling the police." "You can't call the police", the old man said—or one of them, anyway. "And why not?", I barked back. "It's 3AM! Business hours are closed." "Well, shit.", I said. I stared at the Ouija board. "Mind
So, we put our hand on that little piece that moves around the board. We had a little fun. I went ahead and actually drank the tea, and it tasted like normal tea other than the hair I found in it. Let's not talk about that right now.
"EVERY COPY OF MARIO 64 IS PERSONALIZED"
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