Every Creepypasta Ever

Hello, my name is Jimmy Jeffrey McAnalLovin (like my favorite Creepypasta character, Jeff the Killer; by the way, if you don't know who he is, get the fuck out of here). I am going to share with you all a story about some fucking creepy things that happened when I was trying to play my favorite game, Super Mario 64. I just found the cartridge of this game on the streets where a crack addict and his friends were pawning some old games for drugs. This is my favorite game. Anyway, I found it on the streets, and then I tried to play it and then creepy things happened when I was trying to play my favorite game.

The first three days

I found the game on the streets, and then I popped that fucking bitch on my Limited Edition Pikachu Flavor N64, which is only available at Shop & Stop. Then the game started normally. It was my favorite game, so I 100%'ed it in 3 days cus it's my favorite game you see. So then I started running around I couldn't help but notice that there was nothing was creepy about it, so I just went to sleep in my bed that I have been sleeping in a lot since I was 14 probably because it's a bed (duh). There were some good times in that bed. I remember me and my little brother used to sleep together in that bed and then play some N64 at night like "Ocarina of Time" and "Super Smash Bros." and shit. And sometimes, we'd also touch bum bums (no homo, though). He died when he drowned in an inch of water. My mom said he was the reason she couldn't carry any more pregnancies to term and she always tried to blame him for making her infertile, but who cares? He was just a kid. He didn't deserve to die, mmkay? Anyway, yeah, nothing creepy happened these first three days.

The Weird things are happening

File:NO PRESS.jpg

On the fourth day, some weird things were happening. On the first screen with Mario's head, the "Press" in "Press Start" was missing. I'm very fucking scared now because usually there's supposed to be a Press in "Press Start" but there is no "press." I know this for sure because this is my favorite game, in case you couldn't already tell, so this is automatically spooky.

So then I pressed start, and then it took me to the file select menu, and that's when I noticed that there was no goddamn sound at all. I got my TV remote and then I pressed the volume up button and then there was sound. I really didn't get why when I pressed the volume up button, the sound came on. It was right when I pressed it too...

This is very weird, I know for a fact that the N64 doesn't connect with a TV remote because... I just know, okay?

So then I played the game some more and then I wrote a fucking blog about this which was deleted shortly after because they just don't appreciate my fucking swaqq. Later after, the creepiest goddamn thing happened. The Nerdy guy with the glasses who's on a cloud that represents your camera in the game (I can't remember his name) was replaced with a floating face of my dead brother without any fucking teeth. I recognized it because I love my brother, and I remember he was the only thing keeping me alive when Mom stabbed herself in the throat with a flute. Anyway, back to the story. After I saw his face, the game just went to a red flashing screen and then started playing really loud-ass noises. I didn't know how to fix this, so I tried turning off my fucking N64, and it wouldn't fucking turn off. Then I tried to turn off the TV. Still nothing. I tried unplugging everything, calling the electric company and asking them to turn off my electric, burning the fucking house down and it was still doing that scary thing. Blood (oh noes!) was dripping from my TV and it was hyper-realistic blood, so real that it looked like you could touch it and get some on your fingers. So then I had about enough of this fucking bullshit and I got mad and ate a fucking Pop-Tart, you fucking cunt. Later that day, I tried one more thing. I threw a fucking Snickers bar at my N64, and the red flashing and loud noises stopped. I knew why it stopped. It's because my N64 was just hungry. That, and I just threw a candy bar into the cartridge slot so it went kaput. Then it fucking exploded. I think my dead brother was trying to teach me a lesson that I should care more for my stuff on 20 other posts in 1 hour or I'll come in your house and kill you. Don't believe me? Look up Michael Jackson. I slit his throat reel fucking good, I tell ya. REEL GOOD. I then went to my job as an intern at Nickelodeon and watched a new Spongebob episode that was 2spoopy4me with its hyper-realistic blood and shit, so I decided to end it all. I came back as a ghost just to type this up.

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Written by Rushmilk
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