Finneow Investigates - a crime thriller

Mangled Penis' have been turning up all over Creepypasta Wiki Chat and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a Banhammer, and still nobody has a clue who the PB&J Shipper killer is.

Finneow English is a HE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING SCROTUM and "Not the best but he's ok" User with a fondness for Homestuck. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the Eyeless Jane killer.

When his Little Brother, Jesus Christ, is kidnapped, English finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a Orgasmic Chinese guy.

He enlists the help of a Cool as a potato Chat Mod called Timothy Cumball.

Can Cumball help English overcome his Tumblr addiction and find the answers before the shit-faced killer and his deadly Banhammer strike again?