Gabe Newell's Burger Empire: Difference between revisions
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It's initial price was $666, but it was on sale, it costed only $4.99. So i thought, "Huh, this seems like a fun game, i always wanted to be Gaben! And i always wanted to own a burger empire! This seems like a perfect gaem for me!". So i stole my parents' new wallet and added it to the cart. Steam was laggy as fuck at the moment, it was like it was trying to tell me not to buy it, it loaded after 2 days (yes electricity bills are this cheap here) and i was sent to the transaction screen.
So i bought it. After that i opened the game library, it was there, ready for download, i double clicked it, and instead of the download preparation window, there was a window that said "If you play this i'm going to
I thought this was just a glitch so i continued, then it showed the standard download preparation window, the game weighed 666 MB. It would take me an eternity to download all that shit because i used to live in a shithole with no fast internet connection. Decades have passed, i'm now 70 years old, it finally finished downloading.
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I was creeped and terrified at the same time, then something gave me the idea that this was not a glitched game, BUT A BROKEN, UNFINISHED ONE! So i rolled up a blunt and smoked some weed to chill the fuck oat for like 5-10 minutes before the black screen turned into a terrifying picture of Gaben, he was all in what seemed like HYPER REALISTIC blood, but i didn't give a shit because i was high.
Then i started hearing footsteps under my window, and it started smelling like sweat. But then i remembered what happened 70 years ago - Steam threatened to
I saw a shadowy figure - i looked closer and realized that it's Gabe Newell himself! Holy shit! I got so terrified, i almost fainted. But then i rolled up another blunt, and offered some to Gabe. He agreed and we started smokin' weed all day.
So i asked Gaben to play the game himself. I restarted it and gave him the keyboard. He started a new game, watched the damn cutscene and guess what! Another Gaben showed up, broke into the house and
After he was done, i heard him eating a delicious burger, i remembered the title screen - it was me in the hole in the ground all along! Shortly after the realisation i, well, just dug myself out, and killed the second Gabe.
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